Introducing myself

[Anacapa]

I'm not really very technical so I hope I am introducing myself in the right place.  10 weeks ago I lost my beautiful daughter following her 8 year long battle with breast cancer.  She has left a massive hole in my life and heart.  40 years ago I lost my second child just before his 4th birthday so I feel like the old wounds have been opened.  One of the reasons I was drawn to this site is the full range of emotions people seem to be going through and I can really identify with this.  Sometimes I am in the depths of despair and then I can be so angry I could burst.  I have felt so confused that at times I have thought I was losing it and it feels like I cannot explain this.  I am fortunate to have a lovely husband and my son-in-law includes me in every day life even though he is also having to deal with his grief as well as the three children 18, 12 and 10 my lovely girl had to leave. I hope I am posting in the right place. xx

[Norma]

Sending you a welcome  hug Anacapa, xxx

 

[Emz2014]

Sending a welcome hug  hope we can help support you.  Your post is in the right place hun xx

[Karena]

And  from me too.Do not worry about the technology thing,as moderators we can move posts but will generally only do so if we feel something isn't getting read because of it and could be in a better one and will always let you know if we do.

[Hubby]

Hi Anacapa. Welcome to the forum.

I am do sorry to hear of the loss of your daughter and your son all those years ago. I can see how it is opening the old wounds. I think our brains try to cope with change by recalling similar situations and losing a second child would bring the loss of the first to the forefront.

The emotional whirlwind is horrible isn't it. We just don't know what it's going to throw at us next or even when our emotions are going to change. It may feel like we're 'losing it' but it's all perfectly normal. It's just our brains trying to make sense of our new situation.

It's great that you have the support of your husband and that your son in law recognises that you are still an important part of family life even though he is grieving himself. I'm sure you are as much support to him as he is to you.

I wish you strength

 

[Brian71]

Welcome...I hope by posting on here will help a little,  we all know what it's like to lose someone very close to us, and because of that we understand exactly what it feels like and what you are going through. 
A forum even one so unique as this one, is only as good as it's members,  and the members on here are the most supportive, considerate, and caring people I've ever had the pleasure to meet.   I hope chatting to us gives you as much comfort as it gave to me when I first joined, and indeed still does.

For a mother to lose two children has to be the worst nightmare due to that bonding from birth.   
As parents none of us ever want or expect to survive our children.   My sincere Condolences.

Here's a special hug from me, we all need hugs at times like this..

You take care.

Best wishes.....
                         Brian..xx

[Julie Magson]

Hello from me in Yorkshire. So sad to read about losing your daughter. To lose two children seems unbelievably cruel.

[Rosaleen]

Your feelings that you might be losing it seem to be part and parcel of the grieving process. I felt I was going mad too  when I first lost George with all the conflicting confusing and disturbing emotions I felt. ,that is until I found this site and started to understand that it's what happens. You're in the middle of an awful storm, which will become less fierce and slowly die down

[Suey]

Sending you much love and the hope that this amazing place will help you, by letting you know that you are not alone in your grief, your anger, your pain and your loss xxxx

[Emz2014]

That's a beautiful description Rosaleen, and I agree. I really felt I was losing my mind and lost who I was on the bereavement journey, but in time I have been regaining a new sense of 'me'  x