Hi Sunny, I am very sorry for your loss, my Carolyn died 4 years ago this month and I still get tearful especially this time of year, its a very personal thing grief and nobody can really help you with it, its a thing you have to go through by yourself, I found the forum invaluable it helped me a lot. There are a lot of kind caring people here so just keep posting and take it a day at a time, you will have good days and no so good days but its all part of the loss process. I wish you well and you are not alone in your grief many of us on this forum know what you are going through.