I'm not out of the woods myself yet, far from it, as for staying in bed this is something I still do occasionally, today was one of those days as it was after 2pm when I managed to drag myself out of bed, though for me it is happening less frequently.
I was concerned to read your still getting those dark thoughts my friend.
I think the first stage of bereavement is the grieving stage which can be anything from months to years. The second stage is the 'acknowledgement' IOW acknowledging and accepting your loved one has gone, and the rational part of me knows I can only move forwards when I finally accept she is no more and no matter how much I long for her to be by my side again it's never going to happen, I truly wish it was possible.
Somehow we have to overcome all these emotions or indeed they can lead to self destruction. I empathise because I've felt like that many times I can assure you, remember I'm the silly old fool who once tried to hang himself one night a few weeks after Ann passed away, and there's been times I wish I had succeeded. Your not alone I still occasionally get those feelings, but I try and push them out of my mind.
It's 9mths for me on the 4th and about a month longer for you Hubby, and I know only too well it's still early days, but we have to try and accept what's happened and believe me I know that's' much easier to say than do, because if we don't endeavour to accept and move forwards there's a high risk those dark thoughts that many of us have experienced become reality and our lost loved one would never want that and to cause the family more pain is not right either.
I myself am socialising more, I've joined the local Bowles Club and being a ex-serviceman the Royal British Legion. It has all helped me form a little more social life and there is no doubt it's also helping me to cope. Of course there will always be tearful times, as I will NEVER wish to forget, ANN WAS MY LIFE, you cannot wipe out 49yrs with a click of the finger, though some doctors seem to think you can.
I wish you all much strength, I hope Phil things get better for you my friend, this is one of those difficult patches we get, hopefully it will pass quickly.
Best wishes..... Brian