So sorry to hear of your loss, I can only echo the words made by others, we are all going through the same thing and there is nothing worse, they say time helps, and obviously it will, but as I've found today, you can still get a bad day even after 5 months, which is how long it's been since my own wife of 49yrs marriage passed away suddenly. I thought I had got over the worst, but today has reminded me, that it's going to take a very long time, and indeed I doubt the pain we feel will actually ever go away altogether.
You are among friends here who know what it's like, because we feel the same, I hope posting here gives you a little support and comfort, as sometimes talking about it helps. A phrase we often use here is to take it a day at a time as initially that's all you can do.
The reality is, we are all struggling, but AIS... take it a day at a time....little steps each day.
Sending you a hug, and take care of yourself, it's you that matters now.
