I found the dog was my only reason to get up,sadly he died too this year but I will always be grateful he got me through such bad times.I also used to talk to my husband in the garden,still do sometimes.
I had to move house and so set about revamping this garden that hadn't been touched for years.First thing I did was dig a pond,he used to laugh about my pond digging,at the old house I told him I was going to dig one,but didn't mention how big, he came outside looking for me and found me at the bottom of a 10 foot round crater.This one is slightly smaller, but the physical digging helped and as he loved the old one (once the shock wore off) I planted it up the same,I had brought his waterlilly with me, and so it became like a memorial garden which grows a little bit bigger every year.
I wanted chickens,but my daughters reminded me how soppy I am and how much it might cost to take a chicken to a vet.they have a point.
I don't imagine heaven to be a dark and gloomy place,I asked everyone to wear bright colours,and designed t shirts with a picture of our campervan,an owl and a dolphin with a sunset background.That's what our lives were about,the coffin bearers and me wore them.There were going to be a few young children there, and i didnt want them to have a last memory of sadness so after the service we gave everyone a daffodil to float down the river, children and water created some laughter,and they took the idea of sending him gifts down the river and ran with it,daffodils on the anniversary,but they've sent grass,letters,paper ships fircones and once a docked lambstail they found in the field.
The youngest grandchildren who went even born then have been instructed by the eldest ones ,so they do it too.
