new here and feeling lost

[Phil Bridge]

Hi everyone. Im new and Ive joined, after much soul searching today after my dear close friends funeral. Ive had a bad 18 months, having lost my aunt, my grandmother, my dear beautiful mum in Janurary, and last week, my darling close friend who died suddenly and, I must admit i am struggling with many things tonight, faith, morality, unanswered questions and the general unfairness of it all.

Im no stranger to loss, my family were in the business for 150 years. And ive lost a large amount of family and friends in my 34 years. I dunno folks, I guesss im finding it harder the more people i lose, the void, that emptiness we all feel when someone dies, seems greater today, more so than usual. Am I just being weak minded or is there more to it?

Phil

[JuniperJ]

Hi Phil and welcome. I am new here too having just lost my mum.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your close friend, and it sounds as though you have really been through the wringer in the last few months in particular.  I'm not surprised you are feeling such a big emptiness, and would definitely not say it is weak-mindedness!

You mention faith, and although as an adult I rejected the Christian faith I was brought up with, at my mother's funeral I found myself envious of those who have faith and belief in something positive after death; whether that be Christian, Buddhist or any other faith.  To witness the peace and acceptance that it brings has made me feel more spiritual than I have for a long time.

[Julie Magson]

You will be struggling at this early stage, especially after so many losses in such a short time, it's scary isn't it? Weak minded? Absolutely not. Normal at this time? Absolutely yes.

[Karena]

Hi Phil .No not weak minded at all,you have had so many losses In my experience  each one seems to re trigger grief for the others and so becomes even more overwhelming.Not only that but we think we know how it will affect us because we have been through it before and then get a shock when we discover this isn't the case.

I spent a lot of  time looking for answers after losing my husband five years ago.I read a lot some of it good and some rubish too. I don't follow any one religion faith or belief set but neither dismiss any. I personally believe there can be some kind of continuation and for all our rational scientific thoughts,it has not been disproved.Science itself questions its own beliefs with quantum mechanics casting doubt on what we thought was established fact.

[Emz2014]

Sending a welcome hug    I think it is harder with each loss. Be gentle with yourself xx

[Hubby]

Hi Phil. Welcome to the forum.

I think you would find it harder the more people you lose. Each loss leaves s hole in our lives we have to learn to cope with. You have barely had time to get used to one loss when you have been faced with another then another. It's bound to have a cumulative effect. I don't think it would be normal if it didn't.

Wishing you strength.

[Phil Bridge]

Thank you to everyone for your comments and kind words. Yes ive lost an awful lot lately, a great many relations and ive buried 6 friends who were my age or younger, on a lighter note even my cats done a runner! I just feel totally empty and lost in a number of ways really. That dull emptiness we feel when we lose someone, and im struggling to come to terms with the fact that they were all good people, not bad, yet here remains those who would seek to do us harm and the world loses people who made my life complete. I think the adjustment or rather the difficulty in working out what the new 'normal' is, is the hardest part. I mean, how do we move forward as more and more of those we love, are taken from us? Its hard to adjust to the loss.

[Norma]

It is hard to adjust to a 'new norma life' one that we that we didnt want anyway,  but given time we do, try not to be so hard on yourself, and Try not to  overthink, take things slowly xx