Hi all,
On the 4th May 2015, my mum phoned me in a panic. She told me there was something wrong with my dad. He wasn't my dad by blood, he was my dad by heart. We lived on the same road. I fled down there with my ex partner and my eldest son (my mum had been up to mine to fetch my youngest and she'd taken him down to hers just before this). We found my dad dead on the floor face down. My mum hadn't rang for an ambulance. I did as soon I saw him. My ex and I had to resuscitate him. I froze. I couldn't do the mouth to mouth. My ex had to. I still can't believe it.
The ex I was with abused me. He abused me in all ways except sexual. He did something to my discs. I thought the pain had just come on, on it's own prior to this and now I realise it was because of him grabbing me and hurting me. He put my back out. The day after, I ended the relationship. I don't know how I managed to be with such a terrible man. He was a drug dealer and I didn't know. He was an alcoholic and drank every night. How did I manage to be with such an evil man? Anyway, the police believed his web of lies. I'm nearly 7 weeks post op spinal surgery due to what he did to me. In between all of this, I worked for a company who were committing fraud (they still owe me £3.5K in wages), I was misdiagnosed in December 2015, accepted a job to start in January and the pain became severe in February and I lost my job in April. The company made out it was my performance. It wasn't performance related. The company discriminated against me becoming disabled. It's still in the hands of Unison. I nearly lost my house and car due to losing my job. My mum, children and I sold our houses and moved in together. I thought it would work. My mum was fine at my house but then as soon as she brought the house we live in now, she changed dramatically.
My mum has looked after us all since February/March due to the severe pain I was in. I'm eternally thankful for what she's done, but it's come at a price. She has made out to my family and my friends that I am mentally ill, due to the strong pain meds I've been on, my aunt has blocked me on Facebook, when I've not even done anything wrong. All because my boys were misbehaving. I didn't know what they were doing.
Basically, they don't live with us. They don't see how she is at home. She treats me like she hates me. She has turned people against me. My name was meant to be put on half of the property when I gave her half of what was left when I sold my house. So she has £10K from me near enough (I did owe her £4K when I wasn't paid my wages by the fraudulent company) but she's threatened to sell the house and keep my money I halved with her.
I'm completely stuck. I have no house of my own, no job, haven't got enough to survive on. Basically, it's like she hates me. She's convinced so many people that it's me who is ill, all because I was put on nerve pain meds, which are actually antidepressants. She won't go on them herself. Her doctor doesn't think she needs them and yet she's said to my doctor, when I just wanted her support, that she thinks I'm becoming mentally ill! I'm reacting to how she is treating me and then she starts messaging my aunt on Facebook and phoning my grandma stating what such a bad person I am. I'm not going to sit back and let her lay into my children and I, am I?! She is drinking too. Why has she become so horrible? I'm beginning to hate her. We used to be so close. I have no one around here now. I have the flashbacks of my dad on the floor and of my ex abusing me.
I love my mum to bits. My children and my mum are my world but the more she is badmouthing me, the more I am beginning to hate her.
If my children and I are to move, I'd move away from area completely or even move to Australia - as planned before I knew what was wrong with my back.
I'm sorry it's a long introduction post. I did try and copy it but it wouldn't let me.
I worship my mum. I feel she is zapping all the positivity out of me. She is always moaning about my children and I. They have before a handful but to blame it on me, when they see her behaviour is shocking. I can't do anything until I return to work. I'm going to go away next week with my children - on my own. I need time away from her. Maybe she will see how much she's takes out on me.
I cannot imagine what it is like to be with someone for such a long time and lose them unexpectly. I only know what it's like to lose my dad and it hurts, it really does hurt. I've tried talking to my mum but whenever I mention antidepressants, it's like I've mentioned something so very scary. She's addicted to Facebook, wants to meet another man asap and says she's independent, when she isn't. She relies on me to drive her places. Before I could drive again (on been since Monday) she made me feel bad for her having to walk to and from school, despite me drawing out money just before my operation. I feel I've been stupid for selling my house and for giving her half of what was left.
I am empty and feel completely alone.
Thank you for reading.
