Hello Julie and welcome. My husband was in hospital for more than 4 months before he died. It was an awful time, watching him so ill but always hoping he would come home again. It took me a couple of years before I was really at peace with the fact that he was now peaceful, all he went through was dreadful and now I know he is OK again, but I was not - I just couldn't believe that after all his years of illness and months in hospital he didn't just get better. I hope now you will be kind to yourself, take your time in finding out what you want from your new life, your peace will come as well in time xx