I have a family but they don't want me, i need to share my grief

[choccyface]

My dad died five weeks ago. I don't live near my grown up children and when I do see them they can barely talk to me. The reason why is s long story. I thought that losing someone so close and precious would unite us again but even at the funeral they stood away from me. U have one brother who also lives away. We were quite civil but some days before dad died he sent me the most awful texts and won't talk to me at all. My son lives in Hong Kong and I found out when my daughter was talking about hides and she said they were all going to Hong Kong in November to my son's wedding. This was the first and last I knew about it.
My husband is my second and does not know or like my family. If I talk to him he tells me to just forget about them
I know it's a bit of a cliché but I can't grieve properly because it's all mixed up with everything else.  If i started to think about it all I would go mad. Sorry for the ramble.

[Emz2014]

Unfortunately grief often has an impact on families, even where you thought everything was fine. I found after I lost my dad where I thought my family were close, my uncle started slagging me off to my dads best friend.  It was really hurtful.  I also found relations with my other uncle became strange, he could like or comment on Facebook but when I was in the area and phoned then popped in for a cuppa it was so awkward, didnt ask how i was, how my sister was and mainly we just talked about his dog.

So, not sure I have much advice for you :-( but you can talk to us here about it.  Sending a big hug  xx

[Karena]

Welcome 
Seems like you're grieving for your dad and your lost family at the same time.I think if you can somehow separate that and  focus on the grief for your dad you can worry about the others when you feel a bit stronger.ignore stupid texts and maybe in a while you will be able to focus on trying to bridge the gap with your kids.Often it doesn't bring closeness because everyone is feeling highly emotional and that can lead to diverting grief anger and  guilt  into lashing out over something else.
Coming here you can express your grief among others who have all been going through grief themselves but without having to worry that something you say may hurt someone else in the family,or worrying that talking about the family will create tensions or increased dislike of them by your husband.

[Hubby]

I'm sorry to hear you are having family problems on top of your grief. In the ideal world families would pull together during hard times like bereavement but most of us live in the real world where families aren't like the ones in the adverts.

As Karena says concentrate on your grieving for your father. That has to be done and there will be time in the future for revisiting other problems.

Stay strong.