feeling like i should be more upset

[Krystal]

Just need some advise or guidance really my dad passed away 3 weeks ago and ive only really cried or got upset briefly
we have not yet had the funeral
im feeling angry about why other people around me are happy and not understanding
is this normal??? so confused

[Joann]

Its a hard place when you have just lost someone. Especially when you havent had the funeral yet, its like a kind of limbo that hits you all of a sudden. Unfortunately grief lasts longer than sympathy and people just get on with their lives while we are stuck trying to find where we belong again.

[Karena]

 :hug:people react differently but its common the early days are like a shock and often spent running around trying to do things like arranging the funeral and being strong for other people.There isn't a definitive pattern for grief or timelines or guidelines it is more a state of being 12 years since my mum died ii found myself crying over a stupid Xmas carol on the radio so even when you think the worst is over it can come back and knock you sideways.it doesn't really leave but you learn to live with it.
People do quickly lose any sympathy and especially people who hvnt experienced it but also it is normal to almost resent them going about their lives when your own has just taken such a beating,that will also fade in time.I think the famous stop all the clocks poem is a really insightful description of they feeling.

Keep coming back and keep talking we will be here as long as you need us.

[Krystal]

thanks to everyone for your kind words
so the funeral is all done now...everything now feels final. i knew my dad was dead before but now i know hes body is not here anymore  (through cremation) its like another type of grief because he is now completly gone.....hope that makes sense?!
people keep saying once the funeral is done i'll be ok but i feel worse
theres still alot of anger im feeling towards other people...but i have a very good poker face and just smile it off...its like theyve forgotten already...how could they?!...still feeling very strange

[Norma]

Sending you a (((hug))) Krystal, i always think after the funeral is when we start to grieve proper, the days leading up to the funeral can be so busy and were in a sort of limbo fuzzy state,  whereas the funeral day is when it finally sinks in, here is a safe place for you to get all your anger out of your system hun xxx

[Hubby]

Hi Krystal.

Someone told me that the reality would hit after the funeral and I thought they were mad. How could things get any worse?

They did. It was as if I hadn't even realised what I had lost.

Nothing prepares us for this. Bereaved people are good at putting on a 'poker face' for the rest of the world but nobody sees them crying themselves to sleep at night. That is why some people think that you get over it straight after the funeral.

Those of us on here know better. Please keep posting and let your anger out.

Wishing you strength.