I could never have imagined I'd need a forum like this so badly

[woods]

My son died aged 35 on thursday 16 june 2016.
I didn't know I could ever feel pain this bad
I'm lost and don't know what to do......

[sue smith]

I am so sorry to read your post.  I can't imagine losing a child of any age.  I can't offer you any advice but I know others here have lost children as well and will try to help you.  All I will say is please keep coming back here and share your thoughts with us,  it helps to share your feelings I think.  Take care of yourself please  xx

[rajahh]

Seven years ago I lost my daughter at the age of 41. I lost my grand daughter aged 9 at the same time.

I wailed when I was first told by the police when they came to my door.

I do know the pain, I remember asking a friend who had lost his son afew years earlier " will I ever smile again?"

He said yes but not for a long time.


He was right . I felt guilty the first time but I do not feel guilty now.

I do not know how I survived, I didnot really want to survive, but my husband had Alzheimer's and needed me so I carried on cooking and caring..

I went to her grave and sat weeping for hours, I shouted at her, I was so angry, but gradually the pain got less raw, gradually my tears stopped, but it lieshdden, ready to spring out and surprise me even now.

Keep talking to us, it doeshelp,

Sending love jeannette .

[Soleil]

Hi Woods

I think by the heartwarming story you have heard from Jeanette, you can be reassured that at some point you will be able to carry on. For now though, it is just trying to get through each minute of the day.  Sending hugs
 

[Joann]

So so sorry for your loss. Sending you 

[Hubby]

Hi woods. Welcome to the forum. So sorry to hear of your loss. No parent should have to go through the loss of one of their children. It's against the natural order of things.

Wishing you strength. 

[woods]

Next tuesday is the celebration of my sons life.
I don't know how I made it this far as he was in a medically induced coma from 22 may until he died on 16 june. For the first 36 hours I thought he was already dead.
Finally after 26 days I was told there was nothing more that could be done. I thought I had 24 hrs to go home, wash my face, fix up and say goodbye looking half decent - but in the 50 minutes it took me to get home he'd already gone.
I've had no one, no help, no support, no advice, nothing.
I've made all the arrangements myself and paid for it all myself and I'm going to miss him forever.
Nothing matters any more, I'd happily got to the funeral in my pyjamas - I just want him back, I want him back so badly I'd happily die if it would help.
He was my firstborn and there's a hole in my heart shaped like him that will never heal.

[Hubby]

Its still very, very early days for you. Your emotions will be all over the place. The important thing now is to look after ourself and get through each day as best you can. It may seem now that there is no point to anything anymore but you will get through this.

On the practical side the Breavement advice centre website offers advice on dealing with things and CRUSE offer support and counselling. In my early days I also relied heavily on the samaritans helpline to help me make sense of things when I felt at my lowest. Its strange how just talking to somebody anonymous and non-judgemental can help you calm the whirlwind of emotions creating chaos in your head

Wishing you strength