New job

[Spaicer]

I have been offered a job I interviewed for last week.  It's a drop in money but I'm so unhappy where I am that I took the job.  I think it'll be the perfect job for me but instead of feeling happy & excited I just feel so sad, I've been sobbing since I decided to take the job.  It's the first big decision since Terry died.  I gave in my notice on Friday, my boss was out of the office all day but she phoned me in the evening. I didn't answer, she messaged me to call her but I said I would speak to her Monday I couldn't face speaking to her.
I'm dreading going in tomorrow, I don't want to dissect why I'm leaving, I'm going because I need a change but also I'm cross at the way I was treated when Terry died. I had to go back to work 3 days after the funeral, not one of the partners (it's a doctors practice) said sorry for your loss, I'm a patient there too & my doctor didn't even give me a call when he died to see how I was, if I was coping ok & they know I have no family around me & I have to care for two autistic children on my own, so much for the caring profession    I feel like I don't matter i am so pleased I found what I think will be a really good job for me but this sadness & crying is almost as bad as the funeral, I wish I could pull myself out of it, I miss Terry so much I can hardly bear it today, it's six months but right now it feels like 6 hours  sorry if I've gone on a bit

[rajahh]

You have not gone on.  I think it isdreadfulthat you had such meagre support from your employers.

I can understand that your emotions are raw again, but I do hope this new job will help you, and it sounds as though a change can ok key be a good thing for you.

I repeat a phrase used many times on ths site, 6 months is still very early days. Do not be so hard on yourself, .

Let us know how you get on tomorrow.  Jeannette

[pennyking]

  sending hugs

You made the decision you thought was right and I'm sure it is right, just doesn't feel like it at the moment.  Keep talking to us and hope you get through tomorrow ok.
Take care Penny x

[Hubby]

Hi Spaicer.

I'm not surprised you made the decision to take the new job after being treated so shoddily.

It's a major change for you but if you stayed where you are the way you were treated would constantly be there, niggling away. This change may be just what you need to remove that reminder from your work life.

 

[Karena]

Aside from the appalling way you were treated and the memory's of that niggling away,you are making another change and not only that when there are two of you even when you make an independent decision you discuss it,you want that person to affirm your thinking,when you lose that sounding board it makes it even harder,,and not only rei forces that loss but hits you with yet another aspect of it.So even when you know it is the right decision and that you have been successful in something instead of celebrating that you focus even more on the loss of the person who would have celebrated it with you.Its kind of a triple whammy. :hug:In truth you have done well shown huge courage in making that change and proved by getting the job that someone values what you have to bring too it,so even though you don't feel like celebrating I at least send congratulations I think one day in the future you will be able to look back and be proud that you were able to do it.

[Spaicer]

Thank you for the replies.  I got through talking to my manager ok, she thought I was leaving because I was leaving the island (I live in Guernsey) not because I was unhappy, I think it came as quite a shock.  I managed to tell her how unhappy I was of my treatment when Terry died (and managed to keep calm) although its not the main reason I'm leaving it was important to me and I feel better for doing it.  I now feel a huge relief that I'm going.
Not so much crying, still a few tears most days tho, I actually laughed out loud today over a memory of Terry mucking around with the kids and making them laugh, so that's a plus.  Still so sad tho
Count down to leaving now :0

[pennyking]

Glad you feel calmer about things.  Take care x

[Hubby]

So pleased you got through the facing up to the boss and didn't back down from telling them how their attitude affected you. Hopefullythey never will but if they do find themselves in the same situation again with someone else they might have a little more empathy.

its good that you have a memory that makes you laugh. There will be any more memories like that hiding behind the sadness 

Take care