Getting worse

[Suzanneodette]

I lost my mum 11 weeks ago on 7th March. It was a very sudden heart attack.
I feel like I'm getting less and less able to cope. I've three boys and run my own business.
I ran the London marathon which was 7 weeks after her death, I think this gave me focus. Since then I feel like I'm spiralling. Finding everything so hard.
Our close family is small, just my dad and brother. In showing emotion to everyone, can't control, but stay strong in front of dad and brother. Not sure what they think of me.
I feel like I don't know what to do. Everything seems pointless.
Hoping that I can find an answer. Suzanne xx

[Emz2014]

Sending a warm welcome hug 
I think initially we run alot on adrenaline, there's so much to organise and sort, and often initially we have the shock/numb feeling phase.  Then, it seems like our minds let us feel more emotion and it hurts deeper.  Hold on in there, it will get easier to cope but it takes time and is a bit of a rollercoaster journey.  You will find friendly caring people here who understand xx

[Norma]

Sending you a hug Suzanna, thats exactly how everyone describes there loss hun, as Emz says we run on adrenalin the first few weeks then it hits like a sledghamner wham whats happened !!!! But i promise you hun it will get easier, my advice would be talk to your dad and brother about your beloved mum  cry with them, it could be what you all  need, xxx

 

[Hubby]

Welcome to the forum Suzzaneodette. Sorry to hear of your loss.

Grief is a thing that is personal to each of us but some things do seem quite common. One of those is that it appears to get worse in the early stages. This has taken me by surprise as I thought it would be at its worst immediately after the loss and gradually get better.

I believe we each have so much grief that has to come out. During the first few weeks our brains try to limit the upset with shock and numbness, after that we can keep ourselves busy to try and keep the grief away but it will come out eventually. Only by letting it out can we move along on our journey toward acceptance of our loss and eventually carrying on with our lives.

I wish you the strength to cope at this difficult time.