I think a lot if your feelings are down to your bodies reaction to finally closing the account.
This is totally normal, and understandable, so perhaps you have to do exactly what you have said you feel like doing.
Just cry it out, there are times when we have to stop being "fine". Just give in and although drained at first you will feel better.
I once put on the old site the definition of Fine.
I give it to you now
F. Feelings
I. Inside
N. Not
E. Expressed.
Well perhaps now is the time to express them.
Grieving is complicated and we should always expect the unexpected.
Sending love Jeannette