Any recommended support for only child supporting mum who has no clue or paperwo

[Raineyd]

Hi everyone. This is my first post and unfortunately a bit in desperation. I lost my dad 6 weeks ago. I am the only child and life 250 miles away. Since my dad dying I am been the prop for mum emotionally and practically. Staying strong for her, sorting everything out as are didn't have a clue about the finances etc. I hope this doesn't sound selfish but I feel I am struggling. I feel frustrated with her, and hate myself for saying it but she still has visits and calls supporting her. Nobody has asked me how I am feeling, nobody has offered me support and I am getting frustrated with her responses of negativity but staying positive when in the phone then crying when I put down the phone. Has anyone experienced this as everyone I have spoken to have had siblings to support them at this emotional time

[Hubby]

Hi Raineyd. Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear of your loss

It is good that you can support your mother and I am sure she really appreciates you being here for her. It is early days for both of you and your mother may not be able to give you support yet but you do need to grieve yourself.

CRUSE Have a helpline staffed by counsellors you can ring but it is very busy and may take a few days for them to get back to you. You can also ring the Samaritans and just talk to someone anonymous which can help you to clear your head for a while.

Wishing you the strength to cope.

 

[Emz2014]

Sending a welcome hug    I've lost my dad and its hard

It is hard to support others when you are grieving too. You need to give yourself TLC aswell. Hubby has given some good suggestions there.  You may find it helps to talk here too, everyone here has lost loved ones and understand the various emotions.  There is also a live chat room in the eve where you would be welcome too  Xx

[phoenixrising]

Hi raineyd,
I am an only child and lost my mum last month. I am busy looking after dad, he's 85, doing all the paperwork, household bills and housework. I am lucky I live close by but feel so alone with it all sometimes. Just want to scream how unfair it all is and curl up and cry. I want to grieve not deal with all this stuff. It's not selfish, it's natural. But I know dad can't do it so I carry on. I am trying to be kind to myself and you should too, but its not easy when there is so much to deal with. I guess I am just trying to say that I do understand how hard it is being an only child at this time, even though our individual feelings may be different. No one really asks how I am either, it just seems expected that I will do whatever needs to be done and soldier on regardless.
Sending big hugs
 

[Fazzer 70]

Hi and welcome. I was like you with my mom and still are. I did have siblings but they did nothing at all. I did funeral and had to do all my moms finances bills etc while trying to grieve myself. It wasn't till after the funeral it hit me big time as I was so busy dealing with everything on my own. I had chest pains which were down to stress and anxiety. I felt like screaming that I'm grieving too but didn't want to upset anyone especially my mom. I still am doing everything for my mom but trying to teach her how to do things too. The thing that gets me through is we are hurting so much but it must be even worse for them losing their husbands. Hold in there it can only get better day by day.