Mum died almost 6 months ago (just over 12 months after my Grandad) - my life seems to be going in peaks and troughs - I coped with the first Mothers Day and birthday ok, Christmas I think I still felt numb but quite often there is 1 day over the weekend I just can't get my head into doing anything so don't end up doing anything.
I'm trying to rebuild my life after being a carer and working full time for the last 9 years, trying to sort out the house (Grandad, Mum and I are all hoarders and I have most of Grandad's stuff in the house I shared with Mum and it's dreadfully cluttered). I'm also dealing with probate for Mum. Some days I just feel overwhelmed with it all and don't know where to start.
Last week I started to go to a craft club with my next door neighbour and I really enjoyed going so will be going again. I've booked my first holiday for over 15 years last week (going in 3 weeks with a friend from work) so I'm trying to have things to look forwards to and also trying to build a life outside of work because for so long I've been working full time and caring at other times.
But I just feel guilty at everything, I'm finding it hard to get into the mode of trying to sort through things because the memories are there so throwing things out/giving things to the charity shops is very hard. I'm trying to start with the places where the memories are less personal ie the kitchen, lounge and paperwork but as I say today I've just felt a bit overwhelmed with everything.
People tell me I'm doing really well - but somedays it doesn't feel like it.
Sorry for the moans - just feeling a bit sorry for myself today for some reason and needed somewhere to get it out.