Is it just me?

[cazsyl]

Mum died almost 6 months ago (just over 12 months after my Grandad) - my life seems to be going in peaks and troughs - I coped with the first Mothers Day and birthday ok, Christmas I think I still felt numb but quite often there is 1 day over the weekend I just can't get my head into doing anything so don't end up doing anything.

I'm trying to rebuild my life after being a carer and working full time for the last 9 years, trying to sort out the house (Grandad, Mum and I are all hoarders and I have most of Grandad's stuff in the house I shared with Mum and it's dreadfully cluttered).  I'm also dealing with probate for Mum.  Some days I just feel overwhelmed with it all and don't know where to start. 

Last week I started to go to a craft club with my next door neighbour and I really enjoyed going so will be going again.  I've booked my first holiday for over 15 years last week (going in 3 weeks with a friend from work) so I'm trying to have things to look forwards to and also trying to build a life outside of work because for so long I've been working full time and caring at other times. 

But I just feel guilty at everything, I'm finding it hard to get into the mode of trying to sort through things because the memories are there so throwing things out/giving things to the charity shops is very hard.  I'm trying to start with the places where the memories are less personal ie the kitchen, lounge and paperwork but as I say today I've just felt a bit overwhelmed with everything.

People tell me I'm doing really well - but somedays it doesn't feel like it.

Sorry for the moans - just feeling a bit sorry for myself today for some reason and needed somewhere to get it out.

[Emz2014]

  you are doing really well. All of the things you are doing are the things which will help you cope going forward,  and getting out and about will help to give you an external focus and connect with people which helps too

Don't put too much pressure on yourself,  you are making great progress. If you need to have a 'you' day sometimes,  that's OK.  Its like the little steps,  sometimes we underestimate how much it might take up our energy to do something like going out, so doesn't hurt to rest now and again. Over time you will find it will take less energy and you can do more if you want, but let that time come naturally

And we're always here when you need to moan or anything. xx

[Hubby]

Hi Cazsyl.

It certainly isn't just you. I have whole piles of stuff to get through. Sometimes I can manage a bit but every now and then I come across something that really knocks me back.  Some things I can't even go near yet.

As Emz keeps telling me the secret seems to be small steps.