Lonely Days

[mike59]

hello again sorry to rant.Loosing my wife febuary 28th 2016 to lung Cancer, still is so fresh inside I still get the reminders at night waking me up, everynight I try to do as many things as I can manage but still miss my Darling Gail.I contacted Cruse bearevment care who sent me a leaflet and short note telling me to contact the local Big C centre at our Hospital, I cant because it brings back so many memories when my wife was treated there, but I have many Issues that need a one to one discussion or chat Cruse says at least 3 months before the consultations will begin obviously there will be a waiting list so 3 months could be 5 or more , can anyone suggest any other organisations or somone to get a consultation with ...... many thanks  as for feeling better with time that will never happen, I am getting worse by the hour.

[longedge]

Hi Mike, from what I can see, you and I are in very similar circumstances although I'm 10 yrs ahead of you agewise and 3/4 months ahead of you in the grieving process. I've also got multiple health probs that make daily living difficult but, at the moment, just about manageable. Chris died last October in our local hospice of Lung Cancer which had spread to her spleen and bones.

Three months seems to be accepted by people who have experience in counselling as the time at which bereaved people are best able to get some benefit from it. It was at that point that the local hospice where Chris died offered me a place in a weekly support group meeting which I took up and certainly benefited from. I think it's the time when the initial numbness is wearing off a little but the horrific significance of your loss is dawning on you. Anyway, my experience of counselling and the group meetings was entirely positive and I thoroughly recommend taking all the help you can get.

This is also a good place to come and unburden. It's important to have a 'safe place' where you know people really understand the things you say.

[mike59]

thankyou george for your very welcome Prompt reply, yes we are so much the same Gail my wife also had Lung cancer discovered in early December given six months to live ( she was tottaly unaware of the situation only that she was having lung cancer we all wanted her to stay possitive, you are very right about it here people are so kind ( obviously we are all here for 1 or more reasons,thankyou again for advice and your story. please keep in touch....

                                                                                                                           mike   

[rajahh]

I was more fortunate than you  Mike as I had years to get ready for my husband's death. I was already in counselling because I lost a daughter and grand daughter 7 years ago, and so Gordon's health and prospective death was also covered. I was in counselling for 2 years, and must say it really helped.

After Gordon died I too was offered counselling via the Hospice and found the group sessions helpful. My counselling previously had been one to one and was very draining to say the least. so I have had both types.

Please feel free to private message me if you feel I could help.

Love  Jeannette

[Lindy60]

Hello Mike, so sorry for your loss. I too am waiting for cruse, the waiting list is quite long unfortunately but they put the Samaritans in touch with me and I get a weekly phone call.  It's someone to chat to that's not family. It may be worth you ringing them.  I lost my husband two months ago today and have no idea where I go from here. X

[mrs40something]

Good afternoon Mike,

Sorry for your loss. It is incredibly hard losing the love of your life.
I have just had a couple of counselling sessions. I have only had to wait a couple of weeks.  This was through Tenovus.  You don't have to have been a patient of theirs and it's free.  You should have one local to you.  Look them up online and contact them.
It is so helpful to talk to someone face to face that understands. Sometimes you get to a point you don't want to keep repeating yourself to friends and crying to them all the time and find at home I have to be brave for my family.
Hope you manage to get something sorted soon.

[Norma]

glad younfound the counselling helped, it did help me xxx

 

[Hubby]

Hi mike.

Like Lindy I am awaiting counselling but I talk to Samaritans when I need to clear my head. They even ring me every Friday night. I find it does help

[sovague]

 I really feel your pain. The loneliness is unbearable. I really wish i could help  but all i can do is send my best wishes and hope someone discovers a miracle cure for this treacherous grief soon.