Thanks to all of you for what you've said. I really do appreciate it.
Yes Longedge, it does hurt more now. And Spaicer yes it's harder now too. Neither of which I'd expected. So I was totally pole axed by it.
Norma, I understand what you're saying, this 'milestone' catapulted me back 6 months to George's last few days and hours. That obviously was painful, not just because I'd thought I'd somehow managed to get through that initial awful rawness but because these past few weeks I'd found some of the happy memories were starting to filter through, past the grief, making me smile and that had felt SO good.
Now these memories have been swamped again.
I feel is though I've taken one step forward and three steps back. But I suppose all I can do is take another step forward.