Sad day

[Spaicer]

Over whelmed by everything today. Our wedding anniversary, I coped ok with Terry's birthday last week but our anniversary today has hit me like a thunderbolt, just feel heart broken, it's been 4 months & I've been coping but as soon as I'm alone today I just can't stop crying.
Only one family member got in touch, part of me feels cross that no one bothered but then I don't want to even look at anyone today let alone speak to them.. Work was hell.
I have to try and keep things normal for the kids and I don't want it to be a miserable house as Terry was always full of fun & everyone's friend but it's so hard, looking forward is unbearable it's just a big expanse of emptiness, I don't know what to do & I always know what to do ....

[Hubby]

Sorry to hear you've had a bad day.

Wednesday was my wedding anniversary and I also found it incredibly hard. I think it is because it is a reminder of a day when we were at our happiest and also celebrates the length of our relationship which serves to highlight what we have lost. Margaret had already bought my present which was a mixed blessing as it had me in floods of tears yet also provided something I shall treasure as the last thing she bought for me.

I wish someone had said something profound to me to make it more bearable which I could pass on but of course nobody did. I am thankful for every year I had with her and despair that I will have no more.

Wishing you the strength to get past this hurdle.   

[Emz2014]

Anniversaries are hard. Sending you a big hug  xx

[Karena]

  I don't believe there is anything profound that can be said,
My anniversary is tomorrow I,m going to buy a plant today and tomorrow I,m going to plant it whatever the weather.If its snowing he would be highly amused,if its nice he would be glad for me, whichever he would be ready with the kettle and a meal and maybe a small bottle of wine so I,m going to do what he would have done for me for myself .

[Spaicer]

Made some decisions today, we (myself & children) are booked to travel back to Alderney (small channel island) to scatter Terry's ashes at the end of May, it is where we spent 23 of our 30 years together and where the children were born & bought up.  I have been dreading it and am not comfortable scattering his ashes, I can not even bring myself to pick them up from the undertaker yet.

I had a chat to my eldest, (the younger 2 are Autistic so don't  really understand the concept if ashes) and we have agreed to have Terry's ashes interned in the Alderney cemetery and a plaque/headstone and then a wake for all our friends there.  I also have decided to have a gem made from some of the ashes and have it set in the gold from our wedding rings (can't really afford it but will find a way   )

I feel a lot calmer and although still more tearful than I have been of late, I feel more accepting somehow

[Joann]

 :hug:to you spaicer

[Hubby]

Im pleased you have made your decision. I find it so easy to avoid decisions but things have to be decided if we are to move forward. Now you have decided it should be one less thing weighing down on you. 

[Spaicer]

Just heard that one of his grandsons is running a marathon in his memory too. 

[longedge]

I hope things go well for you on Alderney Spaicer. Flying out? 

I haven't been able arrange a date for Chris' ashes yet although I've paid for them to be interred in our local chuirch garden of rememberance where her Mum and Dad's ashes are. I'm thinking about seeing the undertaker and asking if they'll wait until they've got mine and then put us together.