Author Topic: Re: MISSING MY OLD LIFE! (Read 870 times)

Norma · « **on:** July 26, 2016, 02:55:27 PM »

Sending a welcome hug Eileen,

Please tell us about your hubby xx

longedge · « **Reply #1 on:** July 26, 2016, 03:03:09 PM »

Hi Eileen. Yes finding and accepting your 'new normal' is hard. I'm 9 months down the line and still struggling to see how I can go on without Chris. It helps some of us to let things out here where we all understand - just a moan or a rant or reminisce can be a relief sometimes.

Norma · « **Reply #2 on:** July 26, 2016, 03:16:10 PM »

So sorry to hear about your hubby Eileen, xx

Norma · « **Reply #3 on:** July 26, 2016, 03:22:50 PM »

No worries Eileen youll soon get used to this board xx

Julie Magson · « **Reply #4 on:** July 26, 2016, 03:23:49 PM »

All too new to me too Eileen. Everything you say in your first post, I'm there too. It's not easy but this place is helping me so much through it all.

sue smith · « **Reply #5 on:** July 26, 2016, 09:09:38 PM »

Hello Eileen, my husband suffered from renal failure and was on dialysis for 34 years, almost a record. We dialysed at home for 29 years so it was a way of life. When he died I went to nothing - nothing to do, no work to do, no husband to care for. It's very hard to cope when you have been a carer for so long, then your life was so full and now so empty. It does get better if you give it time, I lost my husband nearly 6 years ago so I can tell you that you will find better days. x

Karena · « **Reply #6 on:** July 26, 2016, 09:13:49 PM »

There have been many times when the loneliness has been overwhelming and times when I have wanted to be alone because being around others has made me feel even more lonely.It is a roller coaster of emotions this grief journey.sometimes I still have that overwhelming feeling when the door closes on Friday night and I may not see another human all weekend,so I try and make Friday night treat night,usually chocolate and a bubble bath.I,m not a joiner so for me it has been a case of learning to occupy myself.I could never eat in a restaurant but I can get on a plane and fly to south Africa and in the end I discovered it doesn't matter because I don't actually want to eat in a restaurant or join the WI or get into amateur dramatics which seem to be my choices of socialising here,but others here have found joining things locally has helped
and so it becomes a case of pick the dragons you want to slay and forget the rest.

One thing is certain none of us here are actually alone because we have each other,as well as here there if the Facebook group and aldso a live chat where there is usually people around in the evenings,and a few of us have met up in various places too.

Hubby · « **Reply #7 on:** July 26, 2016, 11:48:02 PM »

Welcome to the forum Eileen. Sorry to hear of your loss.

It's certainly a struggle trying to adjust to our changed lives. To me there seems little point to going snyghing. What I do manage to do is only to keep myself occupied in an attempt to keep my mind off the sadness

It seems grief is the price we pay for love. We will learn to accept our new lives but it's a long process.

Take care

Emz2014 · « **Reply #8 on:** July 27, 2016, 07:45:51 PM »

Sending you a hug Eileen

xx

sue smith · « **Reply #9 on:** July 27, 2016, 08:24:40 PM »

Eileen please don't think you failed him. My husband had some very difficult times but I never said "poor Colin" or allowed anyone else to say it to him. If he had started to feel sorry for himself he would never have coped the way he did. We treated his illness as normal and it was "our" illness and we dealt with it together. I know how difficult it was for him sometimes and my heart would break for him but we just kept a stiff upper lip and got on with it. However I know Colin knew how I felt and I know he was grateful for our lives together. Now I am battling kidney failure as well and I often wonder how he got through the days. But you didn't fail him, you were with him and cared for him and you could do no more than that

Julie Magson · « **Reply #10 on:** July 27, 2016, 08:59:21 PM »

Just being there with him and for him shows how much you loved him and I bet he knew that. No one can possibly know what someone is suffering unless you have it yourself. (A bit like this grieving business).

Hubby · « **Reply #11 on:** July 28, 2016, 10:33:14 PM »

The guilt and questioning things we did and didn't do is a common part of this grieving. It's easy with hindsight for us to find things we think we should have done differently. We may even convince ourselves that if we had done something differently our loved ones would still be with us.

It is important to remember that we did the best we could at the time. We didn't know then what we know now and shouldn't beat ourselves up over it.

News:

Author Topic: Re: MISSING MY OLD LIFE! (Read 870 times)