Sending you a welcome hug
Coping with one significant loss is hard, I cant imagine managing two losses along with the pandemic. Personally I found the forum helped me, somewhere where others understood what I was going through, somewhere I could be honest and not feel alone. I hope the forum helps you too. It's very flexible - whether you want to use it to write a diary (which can help when looking back over older posts and realising the progress you have made, or posting with a particular item in mind, or just when you need to chat)
I found taking things day by day helped me, on hard days not looking too far ahead helped. Its a gradual journey, step by step