Lost my Mum cont....

[Leigh]

I understand you must post 3 times. This is my third post.
I am angry at the staff in the nursing home for not picking up on my Mums breathing prob earlier. I feel awful guilt about not visiting her more often and not being able to visit her after the baby, and for not trying to bring her to our house and trying to make it work. I feel so lonely because I'm an only child and the family are not close. Plus my husband does not do sympathy well, his attitude is why cry, it doesn't solve anything! I cry for all she went through. Whilst I was busy arranging the funeral I didn't have time to stop and think too much, and it was the final thing I could do for Mum. Now it's over I feel empty. I feel like I want to do it again. I don't want people to go back to their daily lives. I feel so much sorrow I'm finding it hard to care for my little ones. I have been constantly worrying about Mum for the past 2 years, I feel like - now what???

[Norma]

Youre in the right place Leigh to get all your anger off your chest

  xxx

[Dave Administrator]

The one thing we all struggle with the most sometimes Leigh is the guilt. I can tell you most honestly no matter if you had gone to see your mum 8 days a week you would still feel guilty now you really would.

I know things our really tough for you now and from what you say about your husband, it sounds like just his way of dealing with her death, so try not to see that as being wrong because we are all different and he's probably hurting deep inside that you are going through so much pain.

Use us as your outlet to let your emotions out so as not to bottle them up because that will hold you back from healing big time if you do.

[Emz2014]

Grief is such a lonely journey,  even when surrounded by people can feel so alone. It will get easier to cope, its a rollercoaster journey of emotions, just take it slowly and gently xx

[Hubby]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

I have found the time since the funeral has been worse than the earlier days. At first there is the shock and numbness, people calling round, things to organise, all of which diverts our mind. Then there's the funeral and people stop fussing round us and we're back in our 'normal' situation but with a great big empty space our loved one used to fill.

I am thinking of you at this terrible time