Hello Blue,
It is 3 years today that I lost my wife and I just wanted to recant something I said at my wife's service which may have some relevance to your post.
My wife lost her father when she was 11/12 yrs old and it had a devastating effect on her as she loved her father very much. In fact even after +30 yrs, when she would talk about her father, she would still get emotional, that is how deeply it effected her. This loss had a profound effect which deeply impacted the trajectory and course of her life. She was highly intelligent, much smarter than I and I have 2 degrees. So because she had a younger brother and to help her Mom, she went straight to work when she was 16yrs. I have absolutely, no doubt, that if her father had been alive, she would have gone to University and her life experiences, undoubtedly, would have been very different. I know, our paths would have never crossed.
We loved each other very much and we spent a wonderful 30yrs together and I miss her everyday. At her service, I recanted my thoughts above and I'm always left to wonder (and marvel) that out of a great tragedy and sorrow, something very beautiful was found. We met when we were older than you and we lived and experienced many places around the world together. So, I wouldn't be so quick to discount what life may hold in store for you. Just don't regress from the possibilities of life experiences; engage and take the chances and risks that are presented. They may not always work out, but, some will and you'll find your life is all the better for it.
I wish you all the best...