Hi, I suddenly thought how nice it would be to talk to people who were feeling the same, so here I am. My husband died 5 months ago. It was very sudden. Scarily quick. Healthy and strong in September, feeling a bit rubbish in October, diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer at the end of October, dead in December.
He was only 55. This man that I lost was amazing, he was my life. It is now a vacuum.
I am staying physically healthy and going through the motions of daily life, but every day is the same as the last. I suppose lockdown doesn't help. I should be selling the house and starting a new life somewhere else, but that's on hold. Someone pressed the pause button, like I'm in some strange waiting room.
Most of the time I don't feel too bad, mainly bored with the odd meltdown, like about a week ago when it was our wedding anniversary. I live on my own, don't have any children. I try and chat to neighbours from a social distance and do video quizzes with family - which is keeping me going. But I do wonder sometimes if I may start bouncing off the walls of this house that I am rattling around in. It is way too big without him.
Love to everyone else on the forum