my mum had cancer and also had weeks to live -but on the day she died she sent me home because of the snow on the roads and then died within an hour before i even got home.
The thing is as a mum myself, i think perhaps your mum was thinking not just of her own quality of life but maybe in some way maybe even subconsciousely that she didnt want to put you through more weeks of pain, in seeing her suffering and that is something i might have had in my mind if i was in that situation myself,for the sake of my children but that was before being at the child end of it .
I dont think thatit is necesarilly the right decision for our children because from that viewpoint of course we want to be there and we want to do everything possible and have every last moment together and i think a part of us also clings to the hope that there will be a last minute cure or there was a mistake even though we know deep down it isnt the case and deny it too ourselves and we cling on too that hope because it keeps us going and it keeps us functioning through their worst suffering.
In my mums case there was a question mark later over it all which will never be resolved because of later revelations about the actions of a nurse at the hospital at that time,
but prior too that although i didnt agree with what i thought she had done by sending me away while somehow knowing what i didnt, and what was really happening too her at that moment, and hiding it from me, but i did come to accept that if it was the case it was done because she was trying to spare me, out of love for me, and at a practical level potentially real concern that had i stayed, after she passed i would not be just driving in the snow at night but doing so in a very distressed state - and however misguided it was, especially in light now of that big question mark over what really happened
which of course isnt the same situation for you -but what i am trying to say is firstly anger is part of grief and it isnt rational anger but try not to be angry about her decisions she didnt want to leave you but she knew that the time was coming, when she would have too, and she knew the only control she had left over any of it, was to make the decision she did.
I have a friend who having had surgery refused further treatment for cancer because she wanted to be remembered by her grandaughter not as a frail woman suffering and in pain but as something much happier, she said to me i want to show her as much of the world as i can but most of all i want to go and pick blackberrys and make a blackberry and apple pie with her from my grandmas recipe and that recipie will be my legacy to her. And even though i found her choice really difficult to agree with, (and she did in fact survive but there was no way of knowing that at the time) i had to respect her right to make it and that its those simple things and the love that goes with them which drives our choices.
We spend our lives with our children making decisions and we dont always get it right but please believe me when i say your mum only ever acted out of love for you.