No Jan, this is normal. It's great that you are going out and doing normal things, but of course you will be thinking about the times you did those sorts of things with your husband.
It is two years today since I lost my mum and I spent the last few weeks remembering all the stages of those last few weeks of her life spent in illness in hospital and today, the memories of what I was doing and what was happening at each significant hour of that day two years ago were present in my thoughts all day.
My dad died in October too in 1985 and I still remember every detail of that terrible night too when the anniversary comes round. So yes, I would say you are expecting too much. It will never go away, it will just get easier to live with, because in the end, you can't change it, so you have no other choice.
I find I miss my mum or my dad at my side when I am doing things and going to places I used to go with them, but that's how it is and you do think how it used to be when they were still here to do those things with you, and it makes you sad, but you learn to live with that and to smile at those memories in time and to smile at what they might have said in situations you will be in, had they been able to be there too.
So how long? How long is a piece of string as the saying goes? Probably always, but differing in how that feels and how you feel about it at different times. I was sad today, but I'll be smiling at some other memory tomorrow and I will feel better once October is over! Dread builds as it approaches, as I know I will be remembering all the awful times as those anniversaries approach and arrive, but I also know i will focus on other things as I leave them behind for another year and other memories and thoughts will take their place that I will feel differently about.
Ups and downs, Jan. It's that roller-coaster ride taking you up and taking you down, one day to the next. Yes, it's normal and your new normal will never be the same as your old normal again and that in itself, is normal. It's a change to your world and a change in you, so nothing will ever be as it was, but that doesn't mean it has to be bad. We can't change the past, but the future is up to us. We can work on making that better.