Hi, I've added lots about my situation on the newbies page. But very briefly my mum died very suddenly in March. Some days I cope, some days it's hard to even get out of bed...
My heart is broken as I was not ready to say goodbye I was not ready to be alone and I feel like a small child again that incapable of making decisions for herself.
But for all my pain and sadness, I think of my poor dad. Married for 40 odd years to his soul mate... She organised and ran everything and now he is alone and I hate to think of his sadness and loneliness.
He's doing amazing, btw, and Im incredibly proud of him.
When I'm with him I feel safe and childlike again... And if I'm honest, sometimes I daydream I can just stay there forever, just us and not have to deal with every day life, work, responsibility and my own family. Which makes me feel very guilty.
As my family have been so supportive.
Sorry, this is all a bit of a waffle... I don't really talk about any of this with anyone. Thanks all ♥ 🕯