Hello Craig,
I'm so sorry to hear about your wife. You will definitely find people to talk to here who understand. Sadly, it seems most people who have suffered a bereavement find that those not directly affected soon move on with their lives and you find yourself alone and unsupported. Even family members from whom you might expect support are not always there or ready to listen or lend support.
If you have anyone who has said that if they can help you should contact them, then do take them up on it. Go out and meet them for a coffee or at the pub or somewhere, as I think the other problem is that people often think someone who has been bereaved won't want to be contacted and will want to be left alone to deal with their grief and so feel they would be intruding if they made the first move. Also people just don't know what to say, so they will ask if you are alright, but will be stalled by you saying no, you're not! So, if you have anyone you can meet up with, go, and just talk about everyday things. It doesn't have to be about your wife or your loss. It does help a lot to get out of the house and think about something else for a while. It distracts you and gives you a break from dwelling on everything, as you do tend to do, if you just stay indoors.
It is probably too early yet for you to want to do this, but I found it helped to join a class where I made some new friends. It was an interest my mum, who I lost in 2017, had also enjoyed, so I didn't feel guilty about exploring it and it really helped me a lot. It gave me something to look forward to each week and to make me go out and be amongst other people and took me out of myself and made me think about something else for a while. It was the one thing that has helped me most in getting through this horrible process and I wouldn't be without it now. I have to say, some of the people I met there have been more supportive and kind than old friends or relatives. Some of them had also lost people so understood what I was feeling. One has lost someone since I started going and so we have ended up supporting one another.
In the early months after my mum died, I did cry lots and still cry sometimes, but less often now. I found it helped to write a journal of how I was feeling every day and what I was thinking about and the act of writing it down does seem to help you process it and get it out of your system. Also later, you can read it over and see how much progress you have made since then. Also, I found it helped to make an album of some of my favourite photos of her and to do little things that helped lift my mood, like putting flowers around the house or walking in the park. The flowers reminded me that there were still good things in the world to enjoy and the park I found a peaceful and calming place in which to sit and think and try to process all that had happened and how I was feeling. I still find that helps. Some people start a memory book and write down their memories of times spent with the person they have lost to dip into when they need to relive a memory of those times. I also found it helped to revisit some of the places where I had memories of having gone with my mum and though sad, it helped me remember all the good times we had together. Perhaps that is something you might try at some point.
Grief is an exhausting state to be in, so you do have to try to make yourself eat and drink properly. Sleep is a problem, so I find, if I can't sleep, it is better to get up and do something else and then try again when I feel ready. That's how I ended up finding this site, on one of those sleepless nights.
The other thing I have found it that grief isn't something that gets better on it's own. You have to find strategies that help you get through it. For me it was flowers and walks in the park and journal writing and trying to set about doing something about building a new life for myself in my altered circumstances. For you, it may be something else, but after a complete meltdown about six months after I lost my mum, I made a plan for the future and I am sticking to that, and I find that helps me longer term too.
The grief and the memories don't go away. Grief is not something you get over and then move on with your life, though those who haven't yet experienced it may think that it is. It will be with you always and there will be times you are sad and times when you feel a bit better. It is more about finding a way to live with it and to build a life in the new circumstances that you find yourself in, so it inevitably takes a long time and that time is painful and hard, so you can only deal with it one day at a time and if you are having a good day, great, but if you are having bad day, be kind to yourself and do whatever helps to get through it.
Loss is probably the hardest thing any of us ever has to go through and nothing will ever fill the void, but you do get more used to it with time. You don't have choice. All you can do is be grateful for the time you had with the person you have lost, slowly reach acceptance that what has happened, has happened and you can't change it and you will find that although she is gone, she remains in your heart and in your memories and that your life was the richer for having known her. I still talk out loud at home to those I have lost and I can hear what the answers would have been often, so in a way, they never leave you. They were a part of your life and that remains with you and helped shape who you are and that is their legacy to you. Their not being there physically is hard to bear, but the chances are that they made the most of their lives while they were here and would want you to do the same, so we who have lost people owe it to them to do that, for them. If you had plans for the future with your wife, but never got to do those things together, do them anyway, for both of you. Then at least, when and if you ever meet again, you will have some things to tell her about and to reassure her that you tried to make the best of things after she was gone.
You are not alone, Craig, not here. We all understand what you are going through. Sending you strength and a welcome hug.