Bobby, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. Yes, you must feel so lonely and lost. I am sure it will take you a lot of effort and time to move forward from all this. We are here for as long as you need us. You are not alone.
Try to take care of yourself and to remember happier times. However long or short our lives and however our loved ones meet their end, there have always been good days that have gone before and that made their and your lives worth living and gave you a store of happy memories to support you and these will come back to you when you are feeling stronger. Life is cruel and loss is so hard to bear, but the good days are like precious jewels that you can hoard up in your mind to give you a treasure that no one can ever take away from you.
I am so sorry and this must be so hard for you. i hope you find some support on this forum.