Hello and welcome, Badger55! Not sure if you are new here of if I just don't recognise the name! Hi anyway!
I can relate to what you describe as I am in a similar position to you. I don't have any family either, am 58, work part-time, so am home alone even more than you are and have a cat that visits! I had never lived alone until my mum died about nineteen months ago, so I do notice the difference now. I find coming home to an empty house hard and a little depressing and sometimes wish I had some company at home too, although I don't mind being on my own too much most of the time. I tend to be one of those people who can always find something to do, but I do wish I had someone to talk to sometimes. I miss that and the presence of someone else in the house. It does feel very empty with only me here now.
I find the first thing I do when I get up now is switch on the radio, so that I can hear people talking and then switch it to music if I'm not interested in what they are discussing. Sometimes I leave the light on when the evenings are dark so that I'm not coming home to a dark house. Also, I still talk to my mum and dad out loud at home and to myself sometimes! I suppose these are some of the ways I cope with being at home on my own. But yes, it is a bit lonely.
I know some people use the chatroom on this website for virtual company. You could try that to help break up the monotony, but I don't think there is an easy answer. I know there are bereavement support groups. You could try joining one of those and might find some answers from amongst those attending, but I think it is largely, just a matter of building a new life; introducing new things into your life to spike your enthusiasm and catch your interest. These things will help lift your mood and improve things for you.
The best thing I have found that helps with loneliness in the evenings is that I joined a class. I'm not a gym person. I find the gym very boring. I tried it, but it's not for me. Instead, I go to a ballroom/latin dance class two or three nights a week. I am extremely grateful that I found it and was brave enough to join, as I think this was what saved me and stopped me sliding into depression after mum died. I found I could not think about anything else and was just getting more and more depressed. I knew I had to do something to try to stop that from happening and so I found this class.
I've been going for a little over a year now. I usually go once a week at least and often two or three times a week. I really find it helps a lot with loneliness. I have met some lovely people there who do text and phone me outside of classes and who understand about loss and have been very supportive, more so than existing friends and family, so that has been helpful from both the perspectives of grieving and of loneliness.
The dancing itself is great exercise and has improved my physical condition, toning me up and giving me more energy, helping me lose weight and exercising my mind as well as my body. Also I think it has improved my balance and strengthened my muscles. It also improves your mental state by making you learn new skills and think about the steps and routines. It releases endorphins that make you feel happier and dancing does in any case, just make you happy. Add to that that it is a social activity and that as learners, we make lots of mistakes,
and we end up laughing a lot and chatting a lot when we run out of steam, so it all combines to give you a lot of fun and a great night out, so I always come home with a smile on my face, feeling like I've had a good time!
It only goes on for two or three hours a night and you can leave when you please, so you don't have to stay for the whole time, but it also tires you out, so you sleep better too. It makes the loneliness at home much less pressing, as I have something to look forward to and know I have somewhere to go a couple of times a week that I will enjoy and has improved the quality of my life beyond recognition compared to how it was after mum died and before I started going, so, for me, it was the answer. I can bear being on my own the rest of the week, even enjoy it a little, as I know I won't be doing that every night.
There are still times when tears well up and I can feel the lack of anyone's presence pressing in on me, but I just have to accept that this is my life now and remind myself of the things in it that are still good and that I have to accept that this is how it is now and it really is not so bad. I suppose life is what you make it, so you have to make is as good as you can.
You may or may not like the idea of dancing, but there may be some kind of equivalent that would suit you. A friend of mine who lost both his parents recently decided to join a cookery class and that seems to be helping him too. He is cooking different things at home and enjoying experimenting with that and likes having those classes to look forward to going to as well. There must be some classes that run in the evening in other subjects too. Churches often run evening meetings and activities too, so that might be another option, if you are a church-goer.
It is good to take up a new interest and have something to occupy your thoughts other than everyday life and your loss and have something to look forward to doing and somewhere to look forward to going. Also the people you meet can become really good friends and, as I say, they text and phone me outside classes, so that breaks up the monotony at home too.
I'm not sure what else to suggest, but I do really feel that having this life outside of work has helped me no end and I would not be without it now. I am still on my own at home, but not every night. Even when I am, I practice dancing some steps at home and have all the usual chores to do too, but the fact that I know I am not going to be in on my own every night really helps and encourages me to enjoy the time that I am. Does that sound odd? Well, that's how it feels.
I have the TV on in the evenings for background noise, if nothing else. I'm sorting through cupboards, trying to sort through my mum's things and doing all the usual everyday paperwork, when I am in, but knowing I will have dancing coming up, makes all that more bearable and less depressing.
Does any of this help? I hope so. There is more to life than work and home. You could consider going out somewhere other than the gym at least one night a week and somewhere that will involve you not just doing whatever it is on your own, as going to the gym does, in my experience. It really does help break up the time you do have to spend on your own and really lifts your mood and the way you feel about this new life you have had thrust upon you. I am biased, so I would recommend dancing beyond any other activity, but I know it's not for everyone. However, from my point of view, there really is nothing better. My mum always loved it too in her younger day and always talked about it a lot, so I feel she would have approved. I usually tell my mum and dad I am off to dancing when I go and invite them along, if only to watch! A bit mad perhaps, but it makes sense to me!
Life on your own. There are no easy answers, but I think you have to seek out what will work for you and once you find it, life feels much better. I did consider joining a choir. Singing makes you happy too. Some of those run in the evening, but am so glad I went with the dancing!
Good luck, Badger55! Have a look around. There must be something else you can go out and do at least once a week, if not more. It really does help to get out, especially if the activity has some kind of social aspect to it.