I heard over the weekend that my long term partner has probably only about two weeks left. The Doctors have been quite truthful; they detailed the many health problems facing my partner which I was glad they told me about as I really needed to know. His illness has come on very quickly and he is in a lot of pain which they are trying to control. Seeing my partner in hospital today, because of his illness, he no longer recognises me. It is really awful seeing him in such a state, I spend hours talking to him and his personality has changed so much, I know he doesn't mean it when he says 'get off' if I hold his hand, I think this is because of the pain. I have had a very difficult life and then we found each other, he is such a lovely man and we had many plans for the future, we both felt we had found someone special. I know at this time I shouldn't be thinking about myself but I keep thinking that having found someone so lovely, they are now being snatched away from me. I was OK while speaking with the Doctor but then he asked me 'who is looking after you'? That destroyed me because I have no one and it brought home to me he won't be around. The closeness, loving, caring for someone and friendship will all be gone, snatched away. I looked after my Father and then my Mother before they died a few years ago but I don't know how to deal with this. I can't understand how it seems so much worse now.