So sorry, Izzlenizzle. I had the same experience as Mother's Day was approaching this year. I lost my mum about eighteen months ago. I think unless someone has been through a close personal loss, they just don't understand how it will always be with you and go on upsetting you even years down the road. I lost my dad more than thirty years ago now and I still think of him every day - and talk to him most days!
I know it's hard when you have a family to cope with too. How about making them part of the anniversary and you all marking it together as a family, so that the children are reminded of their granddad too? I know some people have a day out to a place that has significance with the memory of their lost loved one and release balloons or just have a lovely day out remembering them. It might help you too to let them see that losing him still upsets you, rather then trying to hide it from them, so that they can help you, or at least see that loss is something that matters to people. It might fortify them a little for future years.
Can you have a chat with your husband to see what it is that's upsetting him? Maybe if you can get to the bottom of that, you can support eachother.
Otherwise, can you somehow take a little time to yourself to acknowledge your own feelings? Maybe visit the memorial to spend a little time with your dad?
If nothing else, we all understand here how you must be feeling. It may improve at
times, but then, at others, it was like it just happened yesterday - even after 30 years! It will get better again. Until then, at least you can get some support here.
Sorry not to be of more help, Izzlenizzle, but, for me, just knowing someone else cared and understood was a help when I was feeling low, so I hope this helps you too.
Sending strength and a hug..xx