Of course you don't sound horrible or selfish, Sarah! You sound like you are being practical and thinking of what is best for you and your daughter. That is exactly what you need to do, so keep focusing on that. As you say, your husband's past is for him to deal with, not you.
I am not a lawyer, but a friend of mine got divorced and she and her children were able to stay in the house until her youngest child reached the age of 18, then the house was sold and the money divided. She too was living in her grandmother's house, which they had bought at a reduced price, so she was in a similar situation to you. I think you are entitled to remain until your child comes of age, but speak to CAB and they will know better. Ask them too about division of assets. You need to do what is fair, not give everything else to your husband out of guilt. I am sure the divorce will settle these things fairly, so don't be in too much of a rush to hand over your joint savings. You are entitled to a share of this too, I am sure, if only for the sake of your daughter.
Anyway, this sounds like a good start, so keep moving in this direction and you will feel better that progress is being made. I think if your husband now accepts that you will not change your mind, this will help move things along, but stand up for yourself and your daughter and don't be too hasty to give away your assets!
Good luck, Sarah! I am sure your dad would be pleased you are making progress and don't neglect your own feelings. Feelings can not be buried and ignored. They will need some kind of release, so do spend some time doing something to continue getting yourself through losing him. You will find everything building up like a pressure cooker otherwise. Losing your dad is something else that is happening to you, so you need to go on dealing with that too. Different areas of your life, but both are important to acknowledge and manage. Keep going, Sarah! Very well done!
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