Thank you for your replies, its helpful to know that there are others who have been or are going through similar experiences.
People tend to say that things get better with time, but to be really honest I am finding them getting harder not easier. The loneliness is so overwhelming at times, it is made harder because all I want to do when I feel that way is be alone. But that also is unhealthy I know.
I do have many people around me who want to help, to be there and often ask, what can I do? And that is the million dollar question. If only I knew the answer to it. I have found that posting on here is a release of some form. To be able to put down my thoughts and not be judged or reasoneed with. I dont always want somone to have an answer, to just be heard is what we all need I think, even if we dont realise it at the time.
There just doesnt seem to be much purpose to anything at the moment, its like im living in groundhog day. I wake up and the pain is there, so raw, like it has just happened. And when I lay down at night the same feeling is there. The emptyness, the hole that just doesnt seem to be filled. I try to stay busy but its like something is always missing. How do you just carry on with life as it was before? How do you deal with those feelings? What do you do with the things you used to share with that one person who is no longer there?
So many questions that I can never find the answer to....