I lost my husband on 8 January totally unexpected too, aged 5O. I just wanted to say firstly that I'm so sorry to hear of your loss it's heartbreaking knowing that anyone else has to go through this. I know the pain is unbearable and I remember thinking, and still do to a certain extent that it's all a big mistake and he'll walk back through the door any minute. I want to reassure you that time does make a big difference, because sadly you get used to the pain. I found it helped to keep busy, it just gives your mind a distraction if only for a few minutes. I wrote in a note book for the first few months as if I was talking to my husband, somehow I felt he'd hear that way. My son gave me a reason to carry on, sometimes the only reason in those early dark days. Hang in there, it won't seem like it now but time does help.