I thank you for your kind words but i am sure you must be going through the loss as much.as i am for when you loose your mum you also loose your best friend as i have experienced that pain also , but loosing the most precious ones i loved in sich a short time was a nightmare and cpntinues each and every day and you just fee you not want to carry on.at the moment i have had visits from cruise but i felt it did not help me am under doctor just now and he has put me on antideptressants for he felt i needed them, not a cure as he sad there is no mdicine can ever help bit was trying just to lift my mood a little .i have a sister who lives close to me with her husnand and she is there for me any time but i even gelt so giilty in myself for i had this feeling of jealously and that is so bad for i have never been like that in my life, mabye ots the wrong word i say.
Just as i sit and watch the love between the both of them and when her son and daughter visit i geel so empty and i really not want to be there in their house.
My son just had his 40th birthday and dropped dead the following day, was medical neglect from his Gp.and It was such a yerrible shock he went out to take his wee dog out and about 30 minutes later i had police knocking at my door and they adked me if i had a tiny whippet and automatically i thought she had
Been run over by a car and Paul my son was with her for he had her lead in his hand , i broke down and cried to hom and next thing 2 other police came in a male and female and he had my little dog in his arms then i knelt down on carpet d
Screaming and shouting nooooo it cant be no not my Paul and he was only at the bin shed laying out and they would not let me out to go to him, eventually after about more than an hour of them keeping me back i was lallowed to go see my son , he was laid out on a trolly in.a bag zipped up and i unzipped ot and held him in my arms, they had to pull me off him
Paul was found dead only 50 uatds from the flat with Fern my wee dog attached to Pauls wrist and lying bedide him.
Omg i am to upset to continue of Graham his dad will get round to that later it gives everyone who are so kind wjhy i am looking for help for i felt that talking with people who know exactly this powerful grief and all the stages we have to bare would help for sitting with someone and they want ypu to talk and they listen then finish with a hug till they return did not work for me but mabye some others would. feel good i not know so i decided to look for help elsewhere and i googled for this as i know all of you are sharing grief of some kind and would help me so willing to try as its the hardest thing in my life i have ever done.
But i thank each and everyone for i know i am not alone that other people are suffering also. So please bare with me.and again i give thanks for any help.