Sending you a welcome hug
Grief takes alot longer than many people realise, it seems some people who haven't lost anyone think it ends at the funeral but we know it truly doesn't
The range of emotions, rapid changes and confusion is surprising to us. It truly is a rollercoaster.
My biggest tip would be to increase TLC, you're hurting right now, and like a wounded animal we also often lash out, its not always possible to describe the feeling/hurt. With others it can be difficult, I remember wanting company but at same time not wanting it - so easy for a partner to say the wrong thing by accident but at the same time wanting to be comforted
Hope you find the forum a source of support xx