I dont think you will have upset anyone dont worry
In fact i think for anyone at any stage of this journey its helpful to know that this can be a slow process and we will possibly not ever the be the same person we were before because sometimes things are made worse by the expectation that we will somehow wake up one day and feel fine and "put it all behind us" , especially when it comes from others who seem to think we can "get over it" and "move on " Which then can make you question your own emotions - perhaps we arnt "grieving the right way" perhaps we are in some way not adequate, perhaps even mad, when none of those things are true.
We do, we "get over" the shock, and the acute seemingly unending pain of loss becomes more of a chronic ache with flare ups from time to time - and perhaps we "move on" in making new friends or developing new interests,but i also think when we lose a partner in particular it is hard to socialise, as often our friends and a social life around them were also joint with other couples and suddenly your,e the odd one and it becomes awkward - and perhaps other people who are trying to help can expect you to do things that arnt natural too you - i remember a thread about eating out alone -it became a kind of goal - and i couldnt imagine the day ever arriving when i could do that and i was quite upset by it - well i still never have done it, and it doesnt matter because i can grab a sandwhich and i,m not a foodie, eating out wasnt a major part of our lives - so for me it was a false aspiration - then some-one local sugested i should join the WI - i tried but it was a disaster - and the reason is, these things are not my goals - the things others think we "ought to do" are often things that might suit them, but not us.
With night drawing in and weather getting colder it feels like there is going to be a long dark lonely winter ahead and it can be like that, but it doesnt have to be all the time, the key can be in learning to be on your own but recognising that it isnt necessarilly the same as being lonely although sometimes its difficult to not feel that too - maybe i have got more used too it, but i dont feel it as much anyway.I can spend those times looking forward and planning for when things look better again.
Before my husband died we met a lady making rag rugs at a craft fair - she started doing it when also facing the winter ahead she came across her grans old rug making things in the loft and decided to have a go to pass the time. a few years later not only was she doing the craft fairs - but when visiting a relation abroard she she had taken a small kit with her and noticed one of the maids watching her - so she showed her how to do it and the next year went back with more kit - to cut a long story short the maid had gone home and showed others and so they ended up starting a small rug making business which supports women enabling them to survive independantly. I didnt anticipate at the time needing something like that to fill my time or being in her situation but i never forgot her story and she has inspired me to do something on the same lines ( not rug makng though) - so those nights are spent doing something that has a point too it and that really was what i needed, - to find a point to my my continued existance.
I miss the physical presence of that quiet silence too - but i still feel connected too him by it.
One of things we used to do was dolphin watching and i thought initially i would never go back too it, it would be too hard and too lonely to have no-one to share those moments of awe or excitement when you see a dolphin with - but i did go because i also thought havnt i lost enough in losing him without also losing the things we both loved to do, and actually i do feel his presence there perhaps more than anywhere else - another was to do the things we said -oh that would be nice but didnt ever get round too doing - and again i feel more connected, as though i am seeing the world for both of us, and to do that i have to look more closely at it, - I have had to slay or bypass some personal dragons created by anxiety and fear of doing things on my own, but the end goal is worth it, Whereas the gaols of eating out or walking into a room full of women already in groups and discussing flower arranging were not. -It has to be your goal not some-one elses idea of what you "should" be doing and if that is a goal you would have shared with him dont let him not being able to do it with you put you off because you have lost enough, you shouldnt have to lose everything else that brought you any joy as well, you deserve better than that and he would be cheering you on.