Since my Dad died on August 15 I've been living with my Mum trying to help her because she has nobody else. She is closed off from the world and she has full control over her only friendships (None of them are really let into her life). So it all falls to me, even though two years ago I moved out of home and escaped her following an abusive childhood at her hands. Since Dad died I have organised his funeral, informed all his family and friends who my Mum did not want to speak to, I collected his belongings on my own and went to see him in the funeral home when she couldn't handle it. I am at home every day, doing as much washing up and cleaning as possible, dealing with most phonecalls, helping with any problem my Mum encounters at the drop of a hat...while she is able to recognise it when I have been helpful, it's all forgotten in the overall context of ongoing relations with her. She subjects me to threats (today was "Ill jump out the window and kill myself", as well as "I'm very unwell and likely to just have to go to bed from now on"). Well there was nothing wrong with her at all. Despite eveeything I do and how supportive I am, she can only see negatives ("Don't eat your meal in here" : "The last time you were in the car you left the light on") And she says these things while I am doing other jobs in front of her. Her tone about the light in the car was almost triumphant today (while I was doing her washing up), and when I pointed this out (I did also say sorry as I know leaving the light on can run down the battery), she said "Im going to have to cut off all contact with you now as this is impossible with you now " I said "It's not up to you to cut off contact with me, as it's just not that way round, sorry!". This clearly had an impact but still she continued to shout, so I said well I can leave here tonight then. Then she said I am always making threats (when she is the one who always does that). What tends to happen is when she is being unpleasant to me, and I point it out, she then goes mad and makes her various threats. That's how it's always been. She did calm down finally after I reminded her of various things Ive done over the past month, starting with organising the funeral. I said "We share this hell. You don't own it. Im here by your side helping u". So then she went all quiet and got a cup of tea and said she had a couple of anecdotes from her day to tell me! Now that's all very well but I'll get up tomorrow and we'll start this all over again.