I have just lost my wife of 20 years, she was 60 and i’m 40. Age was never an issue in our relationship as we loved each other unconditionally and was my soulmate ❤️. I’m scared of moving forward because i feel lost without her, like i don’t know who iam anymore. I have really bad anxiety when going to bed and sometimes wait till it’s light. She was my best friend and now i don’t have that anymore. I never really thought i would affect me so much in the manner it has, your confidence is shot, your anger resonates in even the most trivial of situations. I’m a Paramedic and have dealt with the other side of this in acute or end of life scenarios but nothing prepares you for how grief affects you as it’s so personal. There are all sorts of models of grief but no one grief is the same, it’s just how we personallly deal with it i suppose, based on our own experiences, opinions and expectations.