Karena, when I was younger I definitely couldn't scream and I found it very difficult to cry. I couldn't even get angry and lose my temper.
In my late 20s I was deserted by my first husband and left with a young child. It was a terrible time for me. As bad as bereavement really but in a different way. You have to deal with rejection as well as loss.
I thought I had healed but I was on my own for many years and quite lonely, as all my friends were married. I had a couple of relationships but they didn't work out, possibly because I was too afraid of getting hurt again. Eventually, I got quite depressed and a friend suggested I went for counselling. It was one of the best things I ever did.
A lot of things came out to do with my childhood, which wasn't always happy. During the process I gradually got more in touch with my emotions and learned I could cry, and scream, and shout. It was all bottled up inside before and much more painful as a result.
I don't think I would have met and married my husband if I hadn't had this help.
Now I'm a grandmother I see how naturally my little grandchildren express their feelings. As we grow up we have to suppress those natural instincts to fit into society but I think the energy behind a tantrum or screaming fit is still there inside all of us. We have to learn to control our reactions to everyday minor things but if we keep our emotions shut off when something really terrible happens, like the loss of someone we love, I think it can stay inside and harm us.
If you're content not being able to scream, that's fine, but if you feel like a good scream would help then I really urge you to try and, if you can't do it, maybe talking to someone would help you as it did me.