So I am sitting on my lunch break at work yesterday when an advert comes on the TV about the new Motown CD and I thought Mum would like that and then it hits me all over again that she is gone!! Am laid listening to one of her favourite CDs, Dr Hook's Greatest Hits, and I long to laugh with her about the funny songs on there. Music was a big part of Mums world and when the Ventilator was switched off at the Hospital we put her favourite Christian song on repeat and left it playing by her ear. I have not been able to listen to that song yet even though it is a favourite of mine too. I know if I play it I will totally breakdown and I am never in the right place to do that. I do cry with my Sisters but then make myself pull it together to be strong and supportive of them. I can feel something building inside me that wants to drive somewhere on my own, play the song and totally give into my grief. Is this normal? I feel like I am screaming inside with no outlet for it and without this forum where I can be totally honest, I would go mad!!