Sorting through paperwork etc is a nightmare when you are not used to doing that stuff - on top of that i had to move house - i found the best way was to list everything in order of urgency and set myself one or two tasks a day to do, then put a big red line next too it when it was done - that way i could see how much i had achieved which helped me have confidence to move onto the next.Some things like council tax and water rates i put on direct debit so i dont have to think about them again.
Loneliness is not so easilly sorted though - its certainly not un common for people to drift off - as Emz says either they have never experienced grief and really dont understand or theyre not able to cope with your grief themselves, but sometimes they really dont know what it is you want - they genuinly think you might want time to be alone,and even an invitation to "pop round" isnt definite enough for them - so maybe something more on the lines of - I,m going to town this week why dont we meet up for lunch might work . That way they have something definite and because its a "thing" and has a time slot maybe less daunting for them.(I know friendship should be about supporting you and you shouldnt have to be the one who makes the first move it feels so very wrong)
The other thing i think is when you lose your partner a lot of friendships were between couples - which actually makes retaining those freindships difficult - when you do get an invite you start feeling that gaping chasm by your side even more.
I,m no social butterfly and we lived in a remote village,- and for the most part we were contant just with each others company.Moving meant not knowing neighbours - i still dont because its a second home next door - i do work but even then i dont think anyone at work is really a friend, i,m the only female and the only one doing my particullar job in an office on my.
Some friends did remain - we were in a camping club - so continuing to get out there and go camping meant those friends didnt treat me differently - but day to day i did struggle a lot. I think part of the journey for me has been learning to be alone and content in my own company, but also as time has gone on getting out and sometimes making new friends along the way - again not day to day, i can go whole weekends without speaking to anyone -i just mind less now.
Although being here means we dont generally meet regularly - sometimes we do,and even just online i have met people here, who i do class as real friends.