Hi Crazychris,
Thanks for coming back and posting a reply. It sounds to me like you assess your own situation quite well. I found that being alone and thinking too much was a problem for me too and tended to bring me down more. I decided I did need to get out and meet some new people just to try to preserve my sanity. Like you, I didn't really have any friends. I had work colleagues and acquaintances, but that's not the same, so I joined a class and have made some lovely new friends there, who have been a huge help and support to me. You might find that might help you too, even if you think you don't want any friends. You may feel differently if you did find some. It really does you good to be able to talk to people, if only just to talk. Perhaps you could consider meeting up with your counsellor's contacts and give it a try. You don't have to go again if you don't want to, and you will probably find it helpful to be able to talk about how you are feeling with others who are also going through loss. Think about it. It might help.
I don't think you are wallowing. We all approach situations in different ways and move at different paces in dealing with loss. No way is the right way. They are just different. I guess I acted more like your wife, but that doesn't mean what you are doing is wrong, just not the same for you. I would say that, in my experience, nothing gets any better unless you try to make it better. I knew I was going to have to put some effort in to try to recover from my loss, if only just to be able to keep my head above water, so that's what I did. I wouldn't say I am 'over it' and I don't expect ever to be. I don't think you can ever get over a close loss, but your life is still worth living, despite what you have gone through and whether you feel like that at the moment or not, and currently, you clearly don't, but it really is. Think what your daughter would want for you and would say to you if she were here now. I am sure she would want you to find a way forward. Life will never be as it was or would have been, had she still been here, but you can find ways to move forward from this.
Perhaps you could find some interest that you both enjoyed to carry on in her memory and then do that for her? It helps no one and least of all you to give up. It is hard to go on after something like this, but please try. I am sure she would want you to as well.
You will have to do this at your own pace, but talking really does help. If you don't feel like having contact with others yet, perhaps work with your daughters boyfriend to put together an album of favourite pictures of her and a memory box of momentos. A book of memories you can jot things down that you recall about things you did together can help you hang on to the good memories and is useful to turn to when you are really missing her too, so that you can relive those memories. Other than that, I would suggest you start a journal writing down your thoughts and feelings each day. It somehow helps you find some release for all the turmoil of emotions you are feeling and helps you make sense of them. Taking your dog for a walk in the park might help too. I find the park a good calming place to sit and just gather my thoughts and work out my feelings. So maybe have a seat there and do that. If you had a favourite place you went to with your daughter, perhaps you could get a memorial bench put there that you could to to to remember her.
Just so whatever helps most Chris, but try a few things, even if you don't want to. You may find something that helps that you might not have expected to. And I am sure your daughter would want you to find a way forward, so try to do that for her. Thinking of you and sending you a big hug and some strength..xx