That's such a long time to wait for some answers, I really feel for you. Waiting for the post mortem for us was a dreadful feeling, I can't imagine what facing a 6 month wait is like. Paul died of a brain aneurysm which was instant and comes with no symptoms or warning so we had no idea it was going to happen. The shock has been devastating. My son was strong to start with, almost taking charge. Once he went back to college and I went back to work 3 weeks ago he started to struggle. I suppose we're trying to find some normality but nothing feels normal anymore. Paul used to help my son with homework and general 'boy' stuff so there's a big practical as well as emotional void. It came out in him just being very stroppy (more than the usual teenage stuff) However, he seems to be getting stronger again this past week and so I guess it's just the rollercoaster people talk about. He can't concentrate very well at the moment but his college have been great and said last week they will apply for some dispensation on his exams so that eased the pressure. I try not to cry in front of him now and focus on the nice memories with him so he doesn't worry himself silly about me too. I'm only a few weeks ahead of you but if it helps, each day I feel a tiny bit stronger as the waves come. Kim