Keys, if you look at my post about needing to rant, you will see where my family are at, and that is not even talking about how they behaved with Mum before she died.....i am 7 months into it now, my images of her that night, how I tried to save her, how still and cold she was, still do come back to haunt me, not as much, but they are there, i saw a bereavement counsellor in the end, who helped me understand i could not gave done any more, and that those last moments, however awful, were our own special private memories together, and that was how it should be, she also told me that when a woman and her daughter are close, losing their Mum can change them forever, not always in a bad way, and it still feels like it for me, every day is another emotion to get through, sobbing on kitchen floor feeling utter despair is not unusual, but I am still going, I begin to smile at memories, I have learnt my family are irrelevant, that others care and understand me better, and that's okay, I miss her, and Dad all the time, don't keep yourself too busy, it's so early, allow yourself to feel, be upset, so you don't feel joy, why would you at the moment, it hurts, and that's okay, I still feel lost, but I am here to tell you, 7 months on, it hurts a lot still, a hell of a lot,why pretend it doesnt? But I am finding ding a way through, slowly I write a lot down,and the lovely Karena said about continuing bonds, look at that, it helped me, it's like it gives you permission to feel what you need too.please take care, don't expect things to get better overnight. My prayers are with you x