:hug:I agree with Emz -and as a mum and widow myself i wouldnt like either of my daughters to feel the way you do - i do have social anxiety and since losing my husband my confidence hit rock bottom, but i have been able to go back too some of the social activities i did before -pub quiz team,and camping meets. I am not a "joiner" generally, and a couple of failed attempts to "join" things taught me that - but that isnt the same for everyone -some people do join new things -social activities and find they enjoy them -for me i have learned to deal better with being alone and to become more content with my own company.
So i,m wondering if there is anything your mum could return to doing or an interest she could follow of her own whether that means joining things or something that will occupy her on her own -i,ve done free online courses, taken up crochet and designing graphics for voluntary organisations -all things i can do on my own but still give something too society in the case of the graphics projects. does she have or could she get the internet.
Another overwhelming feeling i had was that i didnt have a role -you spend your life being wife and mother,and that defines you then the children leave, as is only right and normal, and then you lose your husband too and suddenly you question your entire existance on the planet. - so could you perhaps give her some confidence back by re creating a role -as a mother - but not as a dependant mother, is there something she could go back to doing for you - i dont know, bake a cake do some ironing knit for the new baby -could she help with your older one when the baby comes -even if its just reading giving you an hour off - painting - playing. It doesnt seem like much and you might not see it as opening a door for you to be under less strain but anything that will give her back some self esteem is a starting point for becoming more confident that she does have a role to play and hopefully a step towards becoming more independant and less relient on you.