Author Topic: How to trust in life again  (Read 30 times)

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Offline jake1996

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How to trust in life again
« on: September 13, 2019, 07:58:58 PM »
Hello all,

Been a while since I've posted on here. I lost my mum when I was 4 - I'm now 23 and finally feel as though I have worked through a lot of my feelings around my mum going, which I'm really happy about...I now feel I'm coming to the end of working through my abandonment grief and have found inside me the deep love I have for her, something that I haven't felt since she died all those years ago, which has made life such an endurance test. I do now feel that I can handle the 'regular' grief that may come once I accept the love I had. However, I feel like I can't totally embrace that love I have for her because life has been so hard for so long and a big part of me is so afraid...so afraid that if I do give in to the love I have, and accept that life can be good and beautiful and fulfilling and everything I know it can be for me, what if it gets taken away again? What if something awful happens? I'm so frustrated because I want to make that step, but am afraid of being traumatised all over again. I'm sure it can't last for long but if anyone has any similar experience or advice I would be very grateful.

Thank you

Jake

Offline Emz2014

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Re: How to trust in life again
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2019, 08:09:44 AM »
Unfortunately there is never any guarantees in life.  But one way I look at it, you can avoid the depth of feelings and have life that is ok but nothing exciting, (and brings its own bad feelings, maybe frustration, loneliness or restlessness) or you can practice being brave - practice feeling and connecting with emotions and experience amazing times. Along with the good times you will capture lovely memories, and those memories can help you through the bad times

The more you practice connecting with life, the more you'll build your confidence and resilience.

Just like sandcastles, they may not last forever and wash back in to the sea, but make our lives so much more interesting and bring joy to us and those around us

If I think about my relationships (partner, family, friends), i know I will be utterly devastated again when I lose someone again, but I am so grateful for the amazing memories and experiences I have gathered so far - I try to make the most of each day, that helps me

Hope this makes some sense!
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx