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Bereavement Support Posts => Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room => Topic started by: Kes1968 on July 09, 2018, 08:18:09 PM

Title: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on July 09, 2018, 08:18:09 PM
Made the really hard decision today to have my elderly pooch put to sleep later this week, heís 13 and his back legs have all but gone, heís weeing everywhere and panting a lot, even out of the heat, especially at night, so so tough, Iím going to miss him so much 😢😢😢
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on July 09, 2018, 10:16:30 PM
 :hearts: sending you a hug. Its so hard to make that decision, especially when they have been there so long with us but we know when it's right time to avoid suffering. I have roses in my garden for each of mine.  Spend some special time with him this week  :hearts: xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on July 09, 2018, 10:57:26 PM
 :rainbow:thanks emz, I know itís the right decision for him but it still feels so hard, Iíve been taking him for little walks but I was watching him today and he was really struggling 😢
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: GHOST on July 09, 2018, 11:15:37 PM
Its always terrible when you have to make the decision and in the past Ruth would always be the one to see the Vets as I am a big softy and as you might guess i like animals more than people and would never feel its the right time but once they start being unable to walk etc it really does impact on their quality of life so then kindest thing is to let them go.....they will always be with you in your heart.This heat is not great for any dogs but for an elderly one not in great health it must be bad. I plant a tree for everyone of our pets we have lost over the years and we even brought the trees from down in Yorkshire when we moved here and it will be their home forever (we also have their ashes)
I would be lost without my Rory now even though he is a bit of a lunatic at times....he might be a lunatic but he's my lunatic lol.
Sorry to hear about your dog but it is the best thing for him if he's suffering and you have loved him and looked after him well for a long time. x
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on July 10, 2018, 03:04:42 PM
Heís been barking this morning at the handyman whoís coming to replace the loft hatch and install the new loft ladder, I donít know that I can justify even thinking of having him put to sleep when heís still showing interest in his surroundings, people always tell me that Iíll know, heís hardly eaten again  today though and v unsteady on his legs, he has spinal nerve damage in his lower spine which causes the incontinence, I donít want to lose him but am I prolonging his suffering? He looks so miserable sometimes and I donít know what to do now
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on July 10, 2018, 05:08:51 PM
I struggled alot with my last dog, I knew she was struggling, she started collapsing and would have a accident when she had (it was a kind of fainting, connected to her heart) but on the day of the appt she had perked up a bit.  But I knew it was intermittent, and other times she mainly slept or looked sad. Broke my heart all the same
Sending you big hugs, it's not an easy decision  :hearts: xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: GHOST on July 10, 2018, 05:20:23 PM
A few years ago we had a beautiful Smooth Collie called Jethro who we had to have put to sleep at 1yr old due to an illness that was affecting his nervous system, we tried to get him sorted and spent £5000 in vets bills but in the end we had to let him go and i was heartbroken as when i had to retire due to health probs he was there to cheer me up and we'd spend all day cuddling  :smiley: but sadly they couldn't do anymore to cure him. To see a very healthy looking dog put to sleep really did my head in but once they cannot walk properly and have toilet probs the most humane thing is to let them go, make sure you take lots of photos of him before he goes so his memory will live in with ya, ok its sad to see their photos but also you remember a certain day when they were acting daft and it will bring a smile to your face one day. x
Have attached a photo of my Jethro smooth collies are like Lassie but short haired.
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on July 10, 2018, 06:34:53 PM
He's beautiful  :smiley:

I've come across a lady recently who makes felt versions of peoples dogs, and can make a little fur or ashes heart to go in it. Ive not ordered from her but I can PM you the website details if you'd like to take a look, if you consider something like that to remember him by when the decision is made xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on July 10, 2018, 06:37:42 PM
He's beautiful  :smiley:

I've come across a lady recently who makes felt versions of peoples dogs, and can make a little fur or ashes heart to go in it. Ive not ordered from her but I can PM you the website details if you'd like to take a look, if you consider something like that to remember him by when the decision is made xx
Yes please emz
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on July 10, 2018, 06:38:51 PM
A few years ago we had a beautiful Smooth Collie called Jethro who we had to have put to sleep at 1yr old due to an illness that was affecting his nervous system, we tried to get him sorted and spent £5000 in vets bills but in the end we had to let him go and i was heartbroken as when i had to retire due to health probs he was there to cheer me up and we'd spend all day cuddling  :smiley: but sadly they couldn't do anymore to cure him. To see a very healthy looking dog put to sleep really did my head in but once they cannot walk properly and have toilet probs the most humane thing is to let them go, make sure you take lots of photos of him before he goes so his memory will live in with ya, ok its sad to see their photos but also you remember a certain day when they were acting daft and it will bring a smile to your face one day. x
Have attached a photo of my Jethro smooth collies are like Lassie but short haired.
Heís certainly a handsome boy xxx itís so hard xxxx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on July 10, 2018, 06:44:22 PM
I struggled alot with my last dog, I knew she was struggling, she started collapsing and would have a accident when she had (it was a kind of fainting, connected to her heart) but on the day of the appt she had perked up a bit.  But I knew it was intermittent, and other times she mainly slept or looked sad. Broke my heart all the same
Sending you big hugs, it's not an easy decision  :hearts: xx

I keep telling myself itís the trauma of the past few months, losing mum and then the house move, plus the heat hasnít helped, but itís a sad fact that he does have a lot of accidents and his back legs are very weak and today particularly heís been unsteady but thatís not the first time, the vet said he has nerve damage to his spine which wonít ever get better , Iíll be guided by the vet but I donít want to rush into a decision I might regret, but at the same time I donít want to prolong any misery/ suffering.
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on July 10, 2018, 09:25:50 PM
Usually the vet will be honest, so they should help support you in the decision.  Thinking of you, its not easy atall especially already after a loss  :hearts: xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on July 10, 2018, 11:46:53 PM
 :hearts:thanks emz xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on July 12, 2018, 05:35:42 AM
Well since I posted last, my little pal seems to have picked up and rallied round, Iíve postponed the awful decision as I donít feel itís time for us to part company just yet, Iím very relieved, weíre still going to see the vet but just for a once over and to ask re painkiller for him should he need it in between his monthly arthritis injection. He went with me for a little walk yesterday morning and managed quite well, and yesterday evening he was running off with the ball of string I was using to secure the cardboard I was putting out for the recycling! I just wanted to say thanks for your wonderful support in this matter xxx Furthermore my friend Ali e who has Harryís sister, is going to look after him for a few days in early August so I can have a few days away. Sheís had similar worries with her dogs health and I know I can trust her completely to care for him while Iím away (4 days in London)
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on July 12, 2018, 07:23:03 AM
 :hearts:
Bless him  :heart: xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on July 12, 2018, 01:16:32 PM
Well we went to the vet this morning and I was pleased because the vet said that given his age heís doing ok, he mentioned that he could have cushings disease but they would need to do a blood test to confirm that and he wasnít convinced that the injection that the previous vet gave him was much use,( for the arthritis) but theyíre going to contact the previous vet to see what they gave him,( I only know it was an anti inflammatory drug),  heís had his necessary jabs  today as they were out of date. We have to go back in four weeks for the rest. Regarding his legs he said they would need to do MRI and it might mean spinal decompression but the results arenít always good and it can make things worse, but on the face of it, I was happy that the vet said heís ok, all things considered. Phew !!
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on July 12, 2018, 06:52:24 PM
That sounds positive  :hug: xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on July 12, 2018, 09:43:03 PM
He certainly seems more proactive than the vet we saw in Newquay before we moved!!
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on July 12, 2018, 10:30:42 PM
A good vet is so valuable. I'm very lucky with my current vet.  I know of others whose vets have been so bad it's given their dogs a phobia of going to the vets!!  Obviously a case of some people in the occupation for the wrong reasons! xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on July 13, 2018, 10:49:58 AM
Iíd heard good reviews about the vets at pets at home before so I was happy to try them out, Iíll definitely stay with them now after such a positive first visit, one lady who was waiting was moaning about the prices but I thought theyíd werent  too bad at all really, £51 for consultation and first course of vaccinations, Iíve paid more in the past!! I suppose it depends what theyíre coming in for! Itís all relative . I felt the vet was very proactive and thorough in his examination ( the previous vet didnít hardly touch harry let alone examine him !! Harry bit him on a previous visit and after that the vet was reluctant to go too near him, a vet ffs itís surely hazards of the job!! 😂😂
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 04, 2018, 09:41:56 AM
Came home yesterday from work to find soiling all around the hall and lounge, harry had to be bathed and Iíve ordered a carpet washer and steam cleaner for the laminate floors. Woke this morning to find heíd soiled himself in his sleep 😢😢 not the first time, what should I do? Is it fair to keep him going like this? Heís pretty good at weeing on the pads I leave for him when I go to work but it was such a mess yesterday, am I being cruel keeping him when heís like this, people say Iíll know when itís time but will I ? Heís my only companion at home, I donít know if I can bear to be without him
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on August 04, 2018, 02:11:39 PM
It's such a hard call  :sad:  I really feel for you  :cry:
I found it hard to make the call with my last dog, she started to collapse and soil herself.  How is he in himself?  Is it distressing him? Can you have a chat with the vet? Xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 04, 2018, 02:32:13 PM
Weíre due to see the vet on Thursday so Iíll discuss the euthanasia then  . I was talking to my neighbor about it and she said that if the quality of life is affected as I believe it is then I should approach it with the vets
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 04, 2018, 06:17:53 PM
Heís not eaten at all today but has drunk some water, seems restless , I think Iíve made my decision
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: GHOST on August 04, 2018, 08:32:06 PM
Sorry to hear about your dog but when they start doing as you say the kindest thing is to let them go....its always so sad to let them go but you have looked after great and he has had a lovely life with ya. One of our dogs ended up in a similar way and you could tell she was distressed when she had an accident...not that we were bothered but she had always gone outside etc and I'm sure she wondered what was happening (she probably thought she was being bad as she'd never done it in the house before)
Take carex
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 04, 2018, 08:46:13 PM
 :rainbow: :rainbow: thanks for the kind messages everyone, itís heartbreaking but o know what I have to do, really going to miss my little pal 😢😢😢
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 04, 2018, 08:50:10 PM
Heís eaten his dinner tonight but only the one small meal today, heís been quite restless and whimpering on and off , panting too, pain? Distressed? I donít know, but Iím convinced Iíve made the right decision this time, Iíll talk to the vet this week , I think Iíll probably go ahead with it fairly soon , probably after Iíve spoken with vet on Thursday,
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 05, 2018, 10:43:39 AM
Weíve got an appointment with the vet tomorrow at 330. I was crying on the phone to the receptionist, when I was telling her about Harry, I feel so awful but I love him so much and I canít bear to think he might be suffering and I know itís the kindest thing I can do for him if itís necessary, just so bloody hard . The receptionist said that it might be the best thing if heís constantly incontinent, which he is more or less and I told her about the mess I came home to in Friday and that I didnít think it was fair on Harry to stay that way , also soiling himself in his sleep 😢😢 heís been doing this for a while and I think Iíve just been putting off the inevitable
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on August 05, 2018, 01:51:38 PM
It does sound like its time, and you're doing the kindest thing for him. Its still an act of love, they look to us to help them  :hug:  spend time with him, and think maybe you can do something nice in the garden in memory for him?
So hard, be gentle with yourself  :hearts: xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 05, 2018, 02:19:44 PM
It does sound like its time, and you're doing the kindest thing for him. Its still an act of love, they look to us to help them  :hug:  spend time with him, and think maybe you can do something nice in the garden in memory for him?
So hard, be gentle with yourself  :hearts: xx
can you send me the link for the lady who makes the animals that  can put his ashes in ? Xxx 😢😢😢

Itís ok emz Iíve found your message with the details, Iíll message the lady tomorrow
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 05, 2018, 04:49:01 PM
Iíve been spending time with him all day, reminiscing, do you think they can pick up on things? Heís not eaten or drunk barely anything all day 😢😢😢😢
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 05, 2018, 06:26:59 PM
I have been crying most of the day 😢😢😢😢😢😭😭😭😭 ,am going to be a total basket case tomorrow 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on August 06, 2018, 08:39:10 AM
Have you got a friend who will understand who can come with you and then spend some time with you afterwards?  :hearts: xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 06, 2018, 10:29:36 AM
No but I prefer to go on my own, thought Iíve had offers to go with me from a close friend and her husband, and my friend Alice is going to phone me later , my neighbour offered to accompany me but I donít know her that well though it was a kind gesture. I canít explain it but itís something I want to do on my own. Weíre going there for 4 now and the reception lady was so kind on the phone. Sheís moved the appointment as it means we wonít be sitting waiting too long . She spent ages talking to me on the phone, she was very kind and reassuring, I can pick his ashes up next Tuesday, they will organise the individual cremation and box etc. Iím going to send the lady at Felt finesse some ashes and a picture so she can make the heart and sculpture and Iím going to ask for a lock of his hair
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 06, 2018, 11:54:51 AM
Strangely enough I feel quite calm at the moment, I think Iíve reconciled myself to the decision, I canít vouch for the state Iíll be in later but I know itís the right decision and it would be unfair to keep him in the state hes in. Heíll be at peace.
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Karena on August 06, 2018, 12:13:49 PM
 :hug: i hope he continues to improve - In his last year or so mine didnt want to go out for walks but i am fortunate to have a garden so he would quite hapilly amble round there at his own pace.Parting with them is really hard i still miss him two years on,he was my reason to get up after my husband died -i havnt got another i dont think i will now - but i have other peoples dogs when theyre on holiday -so not entirely pooch free. 
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 06, 2018, 05:45:01 PM
Came back from the vets after having Harry put to sleep, one of the hardest things Iíve ever had to do, will miss him so much but heís at peace now and I have lots of happy memories to look back on and treasure, Iím picking up his ashes next Tuesday
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: GHOST on August 06, 2018, 09:36:12 PM
Sorry to hear about Harry but you have done the right thing for both of you as you were getting upset seeing him poorly, I am totally useless at vets on these occasions and Ruth was always the brave one to actually be there in the end, our vet used to let people either pay early or later so they could go home quicker. take care of yourself and always remember he will be with you always. I have the ashes for 3 dogs and a cat plus Ruth and her mum and sister all in a spare bedroom as it gives me somewhere to place flowers.....I know it sounds daft but i chat to them all while me and Rory are sorting the washing out etc .....some people think I'm a bit weird having them all here but they are here where they belong.
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 07, 2018, 02:46:54 AM
Thanks for the kind comments, no I donít think thatís weird at all, ( talking to them etc and keeping them). Iíve opted for Harry to have an individual cremation and Iíve chosen a sweet little urn, pewter with silver coloured paw print 🐾, heís being collected from the vets today ( Tuesday and theyíre going to phone me next Tuesday to let me know when I can pick up his ashes to bring them home) Iíve also got his collar and some hair from his ears, front paw and his back to put with the ashes xxx
It was very quick the way he went and the vet was so kind, I couldnít have asked for a more peaceful passing for him. Iíll miss him but I know I did the kindest thing for him xxx. They let me pay for the euthanasia and the cremation/ urn while I was in the room with him and then let me out via the back entrance so I wouldnít have to go back through the shop, they were so kind xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on August 07, 2018, 07:40:32 AM
Sending you a hug  :hug:   Has brought tears to my eyes as I recall saying goodbye to my 3 and can imagine how you're feeling

 :candle: Harry xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 07, 2018, 08:51:20 AM
Sending you a hug  :hug:   Has brought tears to my eyes as I recall saying goodbye to my 3 and can imagine how you're feeling

 :candle: Harry xx
Thanks Emz xxx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Karena on August 07, 2018, 11:00:54 AM
 :hug: :hug: :hug: Sorry about my previous post i had somehow missed a page and only read to where he was seemingly getting better. (teach me to try doing this on my phone)
Also sorry that you had to make that brave decision. :hug:
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 07, 2018, 11:14:50 AM
:hug: :hug: :hug: Sorry about my previous post i had somehow missed a page and only read to where he was seemingly getting better. (teach me to try doing this on my phone)
Also sorry that you had to make that brave decision. :hug:

Thatís ok karena, Iíve done similar myself, he did seem to pick up a little but in the past week or so his back legs were bad and he was hardly eating or drinking much, especially in the past couple of days. Itís horrible without him but I somehow have to get myself together and try to move forward. He was suffering, and it was heartbreaking to see him in that state.
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 07, 2018, 04:27:27 PM
I donít know if I can bear coming home to an empty house 😢😢😢 I know I said I wouldnít get another dog, ever but I hate the emptiness, I know itís too soon yet but I can see myself with another dog before too long
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 07, 2018, 04:53:49 PM
Sorry to hear about Harry but you have done the right thing for both of you as you were getting upset seeing him poorly, I am totally useless at vets on these occasions and Ruth was always the brave one to actually be there in the end, our vet used to let people either pay early or later so they could go home quicker. take care of yourself and always remember he will be with you always. I have the ashes for 3 dogs and a cat plus Ruth and her mum and sister all in a spare bedroom as it gives me somewhere to place flowers.....I know it sounds daft but i chat to them all while me and Rory are sorting the washing out etc .....some people think I'm a bit weird having them all here but they are here where they belong.

What breed is Rory? He looks like a sweet little chap xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: GHOST on August 07, 2018, 10:33:35 PM
Rory is a Havanese (from Cuba)  he is like a mini Lhasa Apso and he's lovely little fella BUT they do need lots of grooming hence reason i have his fur trimmed short as its quite easy for them to get knots....he doesn't shed hair like Hamish our Cavalier but If I had known what was instore for me and Ruth I would have got a short haired dog, due to my health probs I do struggle to handle him as he's a wriggler and having the use of one hand arm some times I struggle but I wouldn't change him now as its me and him against the world. I couldn't live without a dog especially in this house as strange  things happen here so he is a good distraction from them. I think for someone who is pretty fit then a Havanese  is a good choice just be prepared to either get them trimmed short (called a puppy cut) or if you leave it to grow it easily touches the floor :smiley: I like to see his cheeky face.
My sister said he looks a bit simple with his hair cut short lol  I can see what she means lol
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Karena on August 08, 2018, 09:58:18 AM
 :hug: :hug: :hug:I know, i hated going through the door and no greeting - i used to delay it, walking home from work very slowly and spending time looking in closed shop windows along the way just to justify the stopping. Even now sometimes i open the door carefully so as not to let him out the front onto the road and expect him to be right there behind it. :hug:
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 08, 2018, 07:16:32 PM
Rory is a Havanese (from Cuba)  he is like a mini Lhasa Apso and he's lovely little fella BUT they do need lots of grooming hence reason i have his fur trimmed short as its quite easy for them to get knots....he doesn't shed hair like Hamish our Cavalier but If I had known what was instore for me and Ruth I would have got a short haired dog, due to my health probs I do struggle to handle him as he's a wriggler and having the use of one hand arm some times I struggle but I wouldn't change him now as its me and him against the world. I couldn't live without a dog especially in this house as strange  things happen here so he is a good distraction from them. I think for someone who is pretty fit then a Havanese  is a good choice just be prepared to either get them trimmed short (called a puppy cut) or if you leave it to grow it easily touches the floor :smiley: I like to see his cheeky face.
My sister said he looks a bit simple with his hair cut short lol  I can see what she means lol

What a handsome boy xxx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 08, 2018, 07:19:17 PM
:hug: :hug: :hug:I know, i hated going through the door and no greeting - i used to delay it, walking home from work very slowly and spending time looking in closed shop windows along the way just to justify the stopping. Even now sometimes i open the door carefully so as not to let him out the front onto the road and expect him to be right there behind it. :hug:
I miss him greeting me too and the company xxx I hope Iíll get used to it but I can see myself having another dog in time but itís when I go to work, Iíll have to find someone to take him for walks etc , I couldnít have a puppy but maybe an older dog that is used to their own company more, I donít want a dog to be miserable all alone
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: GHOST on August 08, 2018, 11:23:03 PM
How about a rescue dog one day? there's some lovely dogs wanting a lovely new home......I don't want to be a lonely grumpy old git and wee Rory's certainly keeps me on my toes and gives you a reason to get up every day. For people who have never had a pet they don't know what they are missing.....many years ago I went on a sort of date arranged by one of my mates and while we were out we went to a pub and they had a beautiful Red Setter dog and as i love all animals I was instantly drawn to it and it jumped up and gave me a kiss! and my date screeched with disgust at me letting this dirty creature jump on me lol I said to her its a better kisser than her and she got up and left the pub LOL  great ending to a crap night....favourite bit was meeting the dog.
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Karena on August 09, 2018, 12:22:21 PM
Brian at least you didnt waste any more time dating some-one who definitely wasnt suited to you.

Kes its early days give yourself some time -
I also have to consider work and turned down an offer of a pup just a couple of weeks ago based on that. I was going to suggest one of the fostering schemes the dog rescue people use - where you foster them so they are in a home environment rather than becoming institutionalised in a kennel, until they can be rehomed permanantly - but again if a dog has for example abandonment issues which many do in that situation  it is something you would have to deal with - although you would get help and support from the shelter -you would also probably have to take some time off while you sorted it - so with foster dogs you might have to do it several times over which isnt going to be an option - although you can also adopt a dog you foster so you would have chance with an older dog to make sure it was the right one and would adapt to you being at work.I also travel quite a bit -some of this is in the UK camping so not an issue with a dog that can adapt too that many people do take their dogs - but i also had a friend who came and stayed in the house when i was abroad - so i would have to consider whether they would want to do that again - it cant be my decision alone -

The holiday thing works well because i can just say no if i,m going to be away and theyre none of them pups and all three regulars are  happy to be left while i,m at work.One of them is a nightmare on a lead as she isnt used to one but walking without one round here through fields of sheep is not a chance  i,m willing to take.Luckilly she is old enough to be content and reasonably excercised with catch ball in the garden and a short walk up the lane.

Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 09, 2018, 01:53:30 PM
How about a rescue dog one day? there's some lovely dogs wanting a lovely new home......I don't want to be a lonely grumpy old git and wee Rory's certainly keeps me on my toes and gives you a reason to get up every day. For people who have never had a pet they don't know what they are missing.....many years ago I went on a sort of date arranged by one of my mates and while we were out we went to a pub and they had a beautiful Red Setter dog and as i love all animals I was instantly drawn to it and it jumped up and gave me a kiss! and my date screeched with disgust at me letting this dirty creature jump on me lol I said to her its a better kisser than her and she got up and left the pub LOL  great ending to a crap night....favourite bit was meeting the dog.

I had to laugh at this 😂 , red setters are beautiful dogs and sounds like a great ending to the night!! You and your date obviously werenít meant to be!! I would certainly consider a rescue dog but Iíd have to have one that would be ok being left while I was at work and with the abandonment issues that karena pointed out, that would worry me, it wouldnít be fair on the dog if that was the case. Harry would bark for hours in our old house when I went to work after mum passed  away, and he was in his own, funnily enough he settled better in our new home and would lie down and sleep mostly but then he was an old dog. Iím not going to rush into anything
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 09, 2018, 02:58:10 PM
Iím feeling so guilty today, I wish Iíd kept him with me a while longer 😢😢😢😢 I know he was in failing health and was struggling and itís selfish for me to even think about this but I canít help it, I miss him so much 😭😭😭😭
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 09, 2018, 07:49:46 PM
I got in touch with the lady at felt finesse today and sheís going to make me a felt sculpture of Harry, sheís solidly booked until after Christmas but I can wait as her work looks amazing, thanks emz xxxx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on August 09, 2018, 09:55:03 PM
You're welcome   :hug:   her work is stunning
I think it's normal to have moments of guilt, but often it's our pain of missing them thats behind it. You did the best thing for him, you had the strength when he didnt  :hearts:  it will get easier

You could consider something like 'borrow my doggy' (I think thats the name), where you are paired with some owners and have a  kind of 'timeshare' in a way - may be a way of still enjoying having a dog around, building a relationship with him/her but not the full time issues. xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 09, 2018, 09:58:22 PM
Thanks emz Iíll have a look at that as well. Yes, I know, itís going to be hard for a while isnít it I think, I have to be resigned to that fact. Iím going to try and keep busy, Iíve joined an online dating site tonight, just to get out there and meet a few people, itís been a while, Iím a bit rusty!
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on August 09, 2018, 10:04:53 PM
When it's really tough remember all the love and care you gave him, he was blessed to have you  :hearts:
Good luck with the site, I have some funny stories from my days on an online dating site! :-) xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 09, 2018, 10:29:11 PM
Yes I will keep that thought  with me, Iím sure it will help xx Iíll let you know how the dating thing goes, will be nice to have some company
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 11, 2018, 09:45:29 AM
Iíve cancelled my dating site membership, itís not my thing, Iíve joined borrowmydoggy instead and there are dogs near me Iím hoping to meet soon! That sounds odd I know but itís too soon for dating, Iím not sure itís the right thing while Iím still grieving and possibly vulnerable
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on August 11, 2018, 05:54:21 PM
I don't think it sounds odd - dogs are such good therapy, mine have helped me through so much over the years. They're so loving, can talk to them with no judgement, they help us stay/get active (which is so good for us) and they usually have a habit of doing something you can't help smiling or laughing about.  Sometimes dogs are better than people! Xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 12, 2018, 10:03:47 PM
Feeling really sad tonight, really miss my little pal 😢😢😢😢 and what with losing mum as well, my life seems so empty and pointless
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Karena on August 13, 2018, 11:52:52 AM
 :hug: -have you thought about doing something else - maybe volunteering -or  learning -maybe a college night class near you or online - future learn do free taster courses and i have done a lot of those - not because i,m thinking about a career change i,m too old for that and its not going to get you qualifications at free level - but more for interest and to combat those empty evenings when there is nothing to even think about.  The different courses mean you can pick and chose - if you start one and its not for you then nothing is lost  you can move on to something else -  they dont require much time commitment - short courses 3-8 weeks and the time varys from 2-6 hours a week - but of course also by how much a course might interest you. - it could be as many hours as you chose to make it -
Most of it is student to student conversation too -so you get to meet people online but from all over the world all ages all walks of life - and unlike social media no trolls, no offensive bheaviour.
At first i was just randomly picking things i thought was mildly interesting but after a while found there was a connection between them which lead to me then being able to help a charity close to my heart in a way i hadnt thought of before.

Maybe there are other things that appeal walking groups etc.I,m not a joiner.  have a lot of social anxiety and live somewhere that has little to offer - i,m not even old enough for over 60,s dominos club yet - so online courses work well for me. 

When i comes to dating -  if you re doing an activity which interests you, then you are in contact with other people who have the same interests -you  gain a new circle of friends -and  maybe you will meet some-one through that in time - or maybe you will find friendship is more important right now -  but my feeling is, with dating sites - grief and the lonliness that comes from it, could lead to dating for the wrong reasons and therefore the wrong person for you, and also perhaps not fair on them because while while grief is so new and so dominant in our lives we are not really our old selves or the people we might become - if that makes sense.
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 13, 2018, 06:01:22 PM
Thanks karena, yes Iíll have to think of something to do, Iím going to start swimming again and definitely look at doing something in the evening, Iím working full time this week as someone has been signed off sick in my department so that will help during the daytime xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 18, 2018, 05:14:52 PM
Hi everyone, some positive news, Iíve rejoined the swimming pool at my local leisure centre and went for my first swim in ages last week and really enjoyed it, I havenít been this week but only because I hit a low point again and my feet have been very sore ( eczema or something making skin v itchy and sore). Hope to go again soon. I met with a chap and his dog from Borrowmydoggy.com today, Oscar is a 3 year old cocker Labrador cross, totally adorable, very friendly and well trained, his owner Gary works at the college down the road from me and Iím hoping to have Oscar one or two days a week in a couple of weeks time ( Iím dong extra days at work this week and next week but hopefully the week after that, Iíll have him for a day and see how it goes). I might also have him alternate Saturday nights as Gary does agency work as an HCA. Oscar is quite big and strong but very obedient and heís been trained as a gun dog. Heís ver friendly though and good with other dogs and children. Just wanted to say thanks to Emz for suggesting that I try the site out xxx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on August 18, 2018, 11:25:29 PM
That sounds great  :hug:
Can be so hard to start but some form of exercise like swimming helps so much :-) sorry to hear about your feet, I also suffer with eczema when under stress - have you tried adding oats to your bath? (I have a tip I can share with you for how to do so without a mucky bath full of loose oats! Let me know if you'd like it)  its soothing and healing (and actually smells good too!)

Thats wonderful to hear about Oscar - keep us updated! :-) xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 19, 2018, 05:24:21 AM
That sounds great  :hug:
Can be so hard to start but some form of exercise like swimming helps so much :-) sorry to hear about your feet, I also suffer with eczema when under stress - have you tried adding oats to your bath? (I have a tip I can share with you for how to do so without a mucky bath full of loose oats! Let me know if you'd like it)  its soothing and healing (and actually smells good too!)

Thats wonderful to hear about Oscar - keep us updated! :-) xx
Yes please Emz, Iíll try anything, Iíve been using steroid cream from GP and itís not touching it, thanks
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on August 19, 2018, 07:55:52 AM
Have sent you a PM with what I do, hope it helps xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 19, 2018, 11:11:08 AM
Have sent you a PM with what I do, hope it helps xx
Thanks emz xx 👍😊
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 19, 2018, 11:15:00 AM
I might think about having another dog next year, Iím going away in October for my birthday to Oxford and Iíll probably head off somewhere warm and sunny for Christmas, Iím thinking about taking a cruise in the Mediterranean!! Then Iím off to New York in March, so it would be unfair on any dog to leave them while I went away, Iím going to have driving lessons soon so Iíll have wheels and then the pooch and I can go off together but Iím going to leave it until next year before committing myself to another pet.
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 19, 2018, 08:45:06 PM
Have sent you a PM with what I do, hope it helps xx

I tried it tonight and I think itís helping!! Thanks a million emz!! ❤️😀👍
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on August 19, 2018, 10:46:46 PM
Fantastic! :-)  thats really good to hear xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 21, 2018, 12:56:06 PM
Iíve met up with Oscar , a 3 year old lab/ cocker cross and his owner and Iím having Oscar for Saturday night and Sunday( day)  as his owner does nights alternate weekends, Iím also having him for the day next Thursday 😀👍🏻🐕🐕🐾🐾
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Emz2014 on August 21, 2018, 08:55:32 PM
That sounds great :-) Hope it goes well! Oscar sounds like a cute mix! xx
Title: Re: Sad news, got to have dog put to sleep
Post by: Kes1968 on August 28, 2018, 10:29:10 AM
Heís a lovely dog emz and Iím having him again on Thursday. Iím having a tough day today and yesterday though, Iíve posted separately about it.